DeepSummary
In this episode, the host Lyss discusses the pitfalls of projecting a fantasy onto someone and trying to change them into the person you want them to be. She shares personal experiences where she would overlook red flags and cling onto the potential of a partner, even if they consistently showed they were not capable of being who she needed. She emphasizes that people's core values rarely change and that it's a waste of time and energy trying to force someone to be something they're not.
Lyss recounts a recent encounter with an ex where she realized how much she had grown and evolved, while he seemed stuck in the same patterns. She explains the importance of taking people at face value and accepting that some connections are not meant to last. The episode encourages listeners to focus on themselves, enforce boundaries, and attract partners who are naturally aligned with their values instead of forcing incompatible relationships.
Towards the end, Lyss reflects on meeting genuinely kind people and how it opened her eyes to the healthy relationships that are possible when you stop clinging to toxic dynamics. She implores listeners to have higher standards for themselves and cut off anyone who doesn't see their worth, as there are plenty of good people who will cherish them without needing to be changed.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Don't try to change or mold a partner into an idealized version of who you want them to be.
- Accept people for who they are at face value instead of clinging to their perceived potential.
- Have the self-worth to walk away from connections where your values are incompatible.
- Focus energy on self-love and personal growth rather than forcing a relationship.
- Let go of fantasies about what a relationship 'could be' and be realistic about the situation.
- Enforce boundaries with people who can't fully commit or make you feel unworthy.
- Attract relationships where you are naturally aligned instead of ones requiring core changes.
- There are good people who will cherish you without needing to be molded or changed.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “You cannot try to change anyone. And also you have to take people at face value.“ by Lyss
- “If someone's making you feel like shit just in general, if someone's just making you feel like you're not worthy, if someone's making you feel like you're not worth committing to, fucking cut them.“ by Lyss
- “Instead of wasting your precious, valuable time trying to change people, trying to project a fantasy onto someone of what they could be, trying to mold someone into something they're not, cut it out.“ by Lyss
Entities
Concept
Episode Information
Date Yourself Instead
Lyss Boss
1/22/24