DeepSummary
Malcolm Collins discusses his theory that men have two overlapping sexual strategies that evolved - a "raider" sexuality activated by casual sex, pornography, and hookups, and a "homesteader" sexuality for long-term committed relationships. He suggests men can avoid unhealthily incorporating the raider aspects into their core identity by understanding this bifurcation.
Collins theorizes that women who sleep around a lot may undergo a biological change that makes them more receptive to violent/degrading sexual acts, as their bodies think they are being passed around by conquerors. However, simulating this dynamic through roleplay with a wife could trigger the same biological response in her.
The discussion touches on how the availability of pornography, if overconsumed when young, can lead men to build an identity solely around the raider sexuality before experiencing the homesteader side. They emphasize separating arousal from identity and avoiding making permanent lifestyle choices based solely on temporary desires.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Men evolved two overlapping sexual strategies - a 'raider' strategy for casual sex and a 'homesteader' strategy for committed relationships.
- Overconsuming pornography when young can lead men to build an identity solely around the raider sexuality.
- Simulating the raider dynamic too realistically through roleplay with a wife may trigger a biological change in her that reduces pair-bonding ability.
- Men should be careful not to permanently incorporate aspects of their raider sexuality into their core identity.
- The things that arouse men in casual vs committed contexts can be completely different.
- Women who sleep around a lot may undergo a biological change making them more responsive to violent/degrading sex acts.
- Understanding this bifurcation can help men avoid unhealthy overidentification with casual/raider aspects of their sexuality.
- Separating arousal triggers from one's core identity and values is important for individual and societal health.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “What means is that there was likely a push for both strategies to develop within men simultaneously. And this leads to my hypothesis that the average man has a raider sexuality and a homesteader sexuality.“ by Malcolm Collins
- “If you can genuinely convince a woman's body that she's sleeping with a bunch of different people through this sort of role play, you might be actually triggering the same biological change that happens with her actually sleeping with a lot of people.“ by Malcolm Collins
- “The things that turn them on most when they do with their long term partner, may be actually entirely divorced from the things that turn them on most.“ by Malcolm Collins
- “This can cause a lot of problems if a man, when he is young and is not sexually successful, because he doesn't get any long term partners, he doesn't get any women who he's sleeping with, that he respects, and a part of his brain sees as homesteader sexuality. So when he's learning what his sexuality is, he begins to think that his sexuality is only comprised of the type of pornography that he's consuming.“ by Malcolm Collins
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Episode Information
Based Camp | Simone & Malcolm Collins
Based Camp | Simone & Malcolm Collins
1/15/24
We discuss Malcolm's theory that men have two overlapping sexual strategies evolutionarily encoded - a "raider" sexuality activated by porn/hookups and a "homesteader" one for long-term partners. By better understanding this bifurcation, men can avoid incorporating unhealthy Raider aspects as their identity. Roleplaying with a wife may satisfy the Raider side but risks altering her pair bonding.
Malcolm Collins: [00:00:00] there are two major sexual events or strategies that a male can undertake. They can overlap and both be successful within the same individual. That means is that there was likely a push for both strategies to...