DeepSummary
The episode discusses the concept of monogamy, which is the norm in many societies, and explores alternative relationship models like polyamory and open relationships. It features insights from philosopher Luke Brunning, economist Marina Adshade, and sex columnist Dan Savage, who offer perspectives on the historical, economic, and cultural factors influencing monogamy and its alternatives.
The episode also includes a personal narrative from a person named Roy, who shares his experience transitioning from a monogamous relationship to a non-monogamous one with his wife. He discusses the challenges they faced, including societal perceptions and the need for open communication and negotiation.
The episode raises questions about the traditional assumptions surrounding monogamy, commitment, and love, and encourages listeners to consider whether monogamy should be viewed as the default or if other relationship models can be equally valid and fulfilling.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Monogamy is the cultural norm in many societies, but alternative relationship models like polyamory and open relationships are increasingly being explored and accepted.
- Historical, economic, and cultural factors have influenced the prevalence and idealization of monogamous relationships.
- Open communication, negotiation, and consent are crucial in non-monogamous relationships to ensure they are ethical and fulfilling for all parties involved.
- Strict adherence to sexual exclusivity in long-term relationships may not always be realistic or beneficial, and some argue for a more nuanced approach to infidelity.
- Shifting societal perceptions of marriage, from an economic arrangement to a romantic one, have opened the door for alternative relationship models.
- Personal experiences and perspectives challenge the assumption that non-monogamous relationships are inherently less committed or successful.
- There is no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships, and individuals should be open to considering various models that align with their needs and values.
- The episode encourages listeners to question traditional assumptions about love, commitment, and sexuality, and to approach relationships with an open and non-judgmental mindset.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “Monogamy is definitely the norm where I grew up, but why should romantic relationships be exclusive when other relationships don't have to be like, we can love more than one sibling, more than one parent, and if we run into a friend having lunch with someone else, we don't flip the table over.“ by Dessa
- “If you're with somebody for 1020 years, you have kids, you've merged finances, social networks, families, and it comes out that your partner has cheated on you five years ago, and you find out about it, maybe that's something you should be able to get past.“ by Dan Savage
- “I don't think gay men are failing at monogamy. I think gay men are succeeding at relationships and non monogamy.“ by Dan Savage
- “We kind of just, like, talked about, like, science and art and politics, and, like, we were just kind of. We were like, oh, we're just, you know, fairly like minded and curious and interested people.“ by Roy
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Episode Information
Deeply Human
iHeartPodcasts/BBC/APM
4/1/22
Why do you love the way you do?
We're expected to love only one romantic partner at a time. But we can love more than one parent, sibling, and friend - so why do so many cultures demand monogamy in romance? Is it time to reconsider the old model?
Dessa speaks with a philosopher, an economist, and sexpert Dan Savage to talk about love, sex, and commitment.
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