DeepSummary
In this episode, host Chris Duffy interviews John Paul Brammer, the author of the advice column 'Hola Papi.' Brammer shares the origin story of how his satirical advice column evolved into a genuine space for people to seek guidance, particularly those from marginalized communities. He discusses his approach to advice-giving, drawing from his own experiences of learning about the LGBTQ+ community and finding mentors who helped him navigate this unfamiliar world.
Brammer emphasizes the importance of storytelling and recognizing that the narratives we construct about ourselves and our memories are not necessarily absolute truths. He highlights the imperfect nature of language and how advice columns allow writers to explore cultural nuances and societal norms through a more personal lens. Brammer values vulnerability, both in seeking advice and in giving it, as a means to foster human connection.
The conversation also touches on Brammer's upcoming semi-autobiographical illustrated novel 'Samara,' which explores themes of identity, communication, and the challenges of accurately conveying one's interiority through language. Brammer shares insights on the universality of human experiences and the power of storytelling in bridging divides and fostering empathy.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Advice columns can provide a space for marginalized communities to seek guidance and feel seen.
- Good advice often boils down to encouraging open communication and vulnerability.
- The narratives we construct about ourselves and our memories are not absolute truths, but ever-evolving stories.
- Language has its limitations in accurately conveying one's inner experiences, and alternative forms of expression like visual art can help bridge this gap.
- Stepping outside one's comfort zone and embracing vulnerability can lead to personal growth and meaningful connections.
- Storytelling plays a crucial role in self-discovery, fostering empathy, and bridging divides between communities.
- Advice columns allow writers to explore cultural nuances and societal norms through a more personal lens.
- Recognizing the subjective nature of our narratives can lead to greater self-awareness and a more nuanced understanding of our experiences.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “I mean, I give the normal advice that, you know, a good buddy would give when someone's feeling down or like having issues in their relationship. But most advice at its bare bones comes down to just communicate more with each other.“ by John Paul Brammer
- “I think what's always drawn me to visual art is that I'm kind of obsessed with this idea of language and language not just being words that we say out loud and not being things we write down. I think that there's a visual language, there's an emotional language, there's body language, and all that stuff is our attempt to communicate some form of interiority and how hard that can be using a tool that's as crude as language.“ by John Paul Brammer
- “But every time that I've sort of forced myself to get up and do it, something good has come out of it. And so it doesn't make me happy to say that sometimes the good things in life, you have to risk a little something, or you have to compromise, or you have to just suck it up and do it.“ by John Paul Brammer
- “It really made me think about how we kind of abide by these really crystallized narratives in our heads about how things went or what the past looked like or the events in our lives that made us who we are. And we kind of forget that those things are narratives to begin with.“ by John Paul Brammer
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Episode Information
How to Be a Better Human
TED and PRX
5/13/24
Have you ever wished someone would just help you figure out your life? John Paul Brammer’s job is to do exactly that – he’s the writer behind the hit advice column Hola Papi. John has helped all kinds of people on topics as niche as figuring out what to do when your boyfriend pretends to be Latino to as common as answering the age-old question of how to make friends as an adult. John reveals what constitutes good advice, why a lot of problems have similar solutions, and shares what we can do to get ourselves out of our trickiest situations.
For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts