DeepSummary
In this episode, Dax and Monica interview Orna Guralnik, a clinical psychologist and therapist from the show Couples Therapy. They discuss the reasons therapists keep details of their private lives private from patients, as well as the differences between psychoanalysis and other forms of therapy like CBT. Orna explains her experience of having to code switch when talking to different groups of people growing up.
They explore concepts like systems thinking in relationships, what it's like being in a relationship with someone who experiences dissociation, and Orna's perspectives on modern relationship dynamics like polyamory. Orna shares why she maintains an optimistic worldview despite witnessing a lot of human suffering through her work.
Orna reflects on how being a couples therapist has impacted her own romantic relationships, expressing that while she has deep insights, the constant exposure to others' pain can create a sense of remove. The conversation provides an inside look at Orna's philosophy and approach as a renowned therapist.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Therapists often keep details of their private lives private from patients in order to maintain boundaries and avoid distractions in the therapeutic process.
- Psychoanalysis differs from other therapeutic approaches like CBT in that it aims to explore the patient's unconscious motivations and early experiences that shape their inner world.
- The concept of 'systems thinking' is important in couples therapy, examining how relationship dynamics are shaped by the roles partners unconsciously take on to meet the needs of the system.
- Dissociation can severely strain a relationship, as one partner may not even remember harmful behavior or arguments due to disconnecting from reality during trauma responses.
- Orna views modern relationship structures like polyamory and polycules as the younger generation's attempt to create more inclusive, community-oriented ways of living in light of major societal challenges.
- Despite being exposed to a heavy amount of human suffering through her work, Orna maintains an optimistic, hopeful perspective about people's capacity for change and growth.
- While Orna's work gives her deep insights into human relationships, it can also create a sense of remove that is challenging for her own romantic partnerships.
- Orna aims to guide couples toward achieving their desired relationship goals, rather than imposing her own values or deciding whether they should stay together.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “I try to help people just make the best of what they want to do.“ by Orna Guralnik
- “Luckily, I see other things than what a cop sees, but an inordinate amount that a human is probably not designed to observe.“ by Orna Guralnik
- “First of all, I'm not. Look, people go into the profession of being a therapist or an analyst because they're actually quite private.“ by Orna Guralnik
- “There's a way in which I've come to think about all these new structures of relationship as a way that the younger generation is organizing in response to the big things that are happening now, like climate crisis.“ by Orna Guralnik
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Episode Information
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Umbrella
5/30/24
Orna Guralnik (Couples Therapy) is a clinical psychologist and therapist. Orna joins the Armchair Expert to discuss why therapists often keep details of their private lives from their patients, why she felt like she had to code switch when talking to different groups of people, and how psychoanalysis differs from other forms of therapy. Orna and Dax discuss what systems thinking is, what being in a relationship with someone with dissociation is like, and the relational dynamics of the younger generation. Orna explains why she still has optimistic view of the world, how a person’s perception of someone can change when you know their story, and how her work affects her own personal relationships.
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