DeepSummary
In this episode of the Startup Dad podcast, host Adam Fishman interviews Lane Shackleton, the Chief Product Officer of Coda and a father of three. They discuss Shackleton's unique approach to motivating his kids through 'quests' - setting challenges or tasks for his children to accomplish in exchange for rewards. Shackleton shares how this method not only teaches valuable lessons but also helps foster sustained effort and commitment.
The conversation also explores the concept of lowering the stakes in parenting. Shackleton emphasizes the importance of not trying to solve every problem for kids, but rather allowing them to solve their own problems. He advocates for creating routines and clear expectations to help kids thrive. Additionally, they discuss the difference between feeling overwhelmed as a parent versus as a professional, and how parenting overwhelm can be much harder to manage.
Shackleton reflects on the surprising aspects of fatherhood, such as the depth of love and joy it brings, and the importance of being more childlike themselves. They also touch on topics like setting guardrails for technology usage, balancing work and family life, and the lessons learned from coaching his son's baseball team.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Using 'quests' or challenges can be an effective way to motivate and teach lessons to children.
- Lowering the pressure and stakes in parenting can be beneficial for both parents and children.
- Providing undivided attention and love can sometimes be more effective than trying to solve every problem for a child.
- Creating routines and clear expectations can help children thrive and feel more secure.
- Balancing work and family life requires setting boundaries and finding ways to recharge.
- Fostering resilience, a love for learning, and a healthy relationship with technology are important goals for parents.
- Team sports can teach valuable life lessons that may not be learned in a traditional academic setting.
- Fatherhood brings unexpected joys and a depth of love that can be difficult to articulate.
Top Episodes Quotes
- βI think the thing that people, like, I think, can't articulate is, like, how good it can get, right? Or, like, how interesting, or, like, what the feeling of, you know, for lack of a better term, like, love, you know, like, it feels like, you know what I mean?β by Lane Shackleton
- βI think there's a real tension there. I think the thing that probably underpins that and, like, is maybe universal for me is building, like, resilient kids. And so in that way, you know, the ability to learn new things I think is just totally essential for any adults. And thus, like, you want to imbue that idea from early on.β by Lane Shackleton
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Episode Information
Startup Dad
Adam Fishman
5/23/24
Lane Shackleton is the Chief Product Officer of Coda, where he has worked for over 8 years. Prior to that he had a 9+ year career at Google and Youtube as a product manager and leader. Heβs a loving husband and the father of three kids. In today's conversation we discussed:
* How to motivate and teach lessons to your kids through βquestsβ
* Lowering the pressure on high-stakes parenting
* Two actions that can solve most of the challenges youβll experience with your kids
* The difference in feeling overwhelmed between a parent and a professional
* Why parenting overwhelm can be so much harder to work through
* Leveraging technology as a builder vs. a passive consumer
* Balancing being a startup executive with coaching a baseball team full of 9 year olds β and which one is harder
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Where to find Lane Shackleton
* Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laneshackleton/
* Twitter / X: https://twitter.com/lshackleton
Where to find Adam Fishman
* FishmanAF Newsletter: www.FishmanAFNewsletter.com
* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/
* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/
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In this episode, we cover
[1:53] Welcome
[2:23] Wine & software
[4:57] Quests with your kids
[10:30] Childhood
[11:45] How did your son get into baseball?
[13:54] Family now
[15:24] Decision to start a family?
[16:18] Earliest memory of becoming a dad
[18:00] Feeling of overwhelm
[20:58] Most surprising thing about becoming a dad
[24:47] Not everything is high stakes
[28:59] Solving problems with kids
[32:35] Favorite book to read to kids
[33:58] Frameworks
[36:46] Has parenting changed your management style?
[40:17] Where do Lane and his partner not align
[41:39] Kidβs relationship to tech
[45:28] What did you give up to become a dad?
[47:07] How do you recharge your batteries?
[49:10] Startup hustle culture
[52:08] Rapid fire
[58:18] Thank you
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Show references:
Bruce Bolt batting gloves:https://brucebolt.us/
Napa: https://www.cityofnapa.org/
Coda: https://coda.io/
YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/
Google: google.com
Atlanta, GA: https://www.atlantaga.gov/
Β CPMC: https://www.sutterhealth.org/cpmc
Field of Dreams:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097351/
Llama Llama: https://llamallamabook.com/books/
You Can Play Sports Board book by Nicole Stoltenberg: https://www.amazon.com/Play-Sports-Nicole-Todd-Stoltenberg/dp/0578878224
Lorax: https://www.amazon.com/Lorax-Classic-Seuss-Dr/dp/0394823370
Luca: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12801262/
Stripe: https://stripe.com/
Sound Machine: https://www.amazon.com/Magicteam-Machine-Looping-Soothing-Function/dp/B07RWRJ4XW/ref=zg_bs_g_18746767011_d_sccl_1/143-4646178-9363038?psc=1
Cascade Falls: https://www.alltrails.com/trail/us/california/cascade-falls
Cocomelon: https://cocomelon.com/
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For sponsorship inquiries email: podcast@fishmana.com.
For Startup Dad Merch: www.startupdadshop.comΒ
Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com