DeepSummary
The episode features an interview with Brian Rothenberg, a general partner at Defy, a venture capital firm, and former Head of Growth at Eventbrite. Brian discusses his background as a serial entrepreneur and his journey into the world of startups and venture capital. He shares insights into his personal life, including how he met his wife, Kelly, and their decision to have four children spaced evenly two years apart.
Brian delves into the challenges and strategies of managing a household with four kids. He emphasizes the importance of dividing responsibilities and conquering tasks as a team with his wife. He also highlights the need for selflessness and prioritizing time with his wife amidst the 'controlled chaos' of a large family. Brian reflects on the surprising aspects of fatherhood, the mistakes he's made, and the advice he'd give his younger self.
The conversation touches on various topics, including exercising as a form of parental sanity, navigating conflicts and differences with a partner, balancing startup hustle culture with family life, and limiting kids' exposure to technology. Brian also shares his thoughts on the 'wildcard' nature of the third child and the evolution of his parenting approach as his family grew.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Raising a large family requires a 'divide and conquer' approach, with parents taking ownership of specific responsibilities and areas.
- As families grow, parents need to evolve their parenting strategies and decision-making processes to adapt to the increased complexity.
- Maintaining quality time and open communication with one's partner is crucial amidst the chaos of a large household.
- Parenthood demands a shift towards selflessness and prioritizing the needs of children over personal interests.
- Finding ways to maintain personal sanity, such as through exercise or meditation, is essential for parents.
- Embracing the 'wildcard' nature of the third child is a common experience for many families with three or more children.
- Balancing startup hustle culture with family life requires accepting the pendulum swings and actively recalibrating when needed.
- Limiting excessive screen time and technology exposure for children can foster better social and interpersonal skills.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “I would say early on, I kind of probably skewed a little bit more nerdy, like, really into legos, into video games. Always very interested. I mentioned entrepreneurial endeavors. I was always kind of starting like, a mobile car wash business or a lemonade stand or one summer I started a house painting business. So that's just been a theme for me, and it's something that my parents always encouraged and I really give them credit for always pushing me to go do my own thing.“ by Brian Rothenberg
- “We had the debate, and minivans, while so practical, were an suv family just couldn't get over the hub. So Ford expedition Max to haul all the kids and the dog and all our gear.“ by Brian Rothenberg
- “For some reason, the third child seems to be the wild card in most families with three or four kids. I have some theories why, but most of our friends who do have three kids or more, the third one's the wild one.“ by Brian Rothenberg
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Episode Information
Startup Dad
Adam Fishman
2/29/24
Brian Rothenberg is a general partner at Defy, an early-stage venture firm. He was the former Head of Growth at Eventbrite and has been a serial marketplace founder; starting a services marketplace that was acquired by TaskRabbit in 2011. He's also a husband and the father of four kids. In today's conversation we discussed:
* Pivoting your plans to follow your future spouse
* How to divide and conquer when you've got four kids
* How the family dynamic changes as it grows from one to four kids
* How to prioritize time with your wife amidst the "controlled chaos" of a large family
* Advice he'd give younger Brian and advice he'd ignore
* The wildcard of the "third child"
* How to give up being self-absorbed and become more selfless as a parent
* Mistakes made as a father and the most surprising aspects of becoming a dad
Listen or watch Startup Dad on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and Overcast.
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Where to find Brian Rothenberg
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianrothenberg/
- Twitter / X: https://twitter.com/bmrothenberg
- Defy: https://defy.vc/
Where to find Adam Fishman
- Newsletter: startupdadpod.substack.com
- Newsletter: www.FishmanAFNewsletter.com
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/
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In this episode, we cover:
[1:45] Welcome
[2:06] Professional background
[5:10] Childhood
[6:47] His kids and how he met his partner
[8:36] Dividing/conquering in the household
[12:07] Managing larger households and controlled chaos
[15:21] Prioritizing time with your partner
[17:04] Brian’s wife stepping back from career for household
[19:23] His earliest memory of being a dad
[20:23] Most surprising thing about being a dad
[21:17] Advice for younger Brian/Advice to ignore
[24:04] His kids’ favorite book
[24:57] Partnership/natural conflict
[27:09] Where you don’t align with partner
[29:19] Kid’s relationship to technology
[31:27] How to give up self absorption
[32:43] Importance of exercise
[34:38] Mistake as a dad
[38:03] Startup hustle culture
[41:28] Where to follow along with Brian
[42:10] Rapid fire
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Show references:
Die Hard: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095016/
Indiana Jones: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087469/?ref_=fn_al_tt_3
Cocomelon: https://cocomelon.com/
Blippi: https://blippi.com/
Maclaren F1: https://www.mclaren.com/racing/
Patagonia Fleece Jacket: https://www.patagonia.com/shop/category/fleece
Vuori Sunday Jogger: https://vuoriclothing.com/collections/joggers
Crib net: https://www.amazon.com/RUNNZER-Baby-Safety-Canopy-Climbing/dp/B08NJGZQZM/
Defy: https://defy.vc/
EventBrite: https://www.eventbrite.com/
USC: https://www.usc.edu/
Yahoo: https://www.yahoo.com/
Skill Slate: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SkillSlate
TaskRabbit: https://www.taskrabbit.com/
The Lorax: https://www.amazon.com/Lorax-Classic-Seuss-Dr/dp/0394823370
Dragons Love Tacos: https://www.amazon.com/Dragons-Love-Tacos-Adam-Rubin/dp/0803736800/
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For sponsorship inquiries email: podcast@fishmana.com.
For Startup Dad Merch: www.startupdadshop.com
Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com