DeepSummary
Anna Seale interviews Alyssa Strauss, author of the book 'When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others', about how her perspective on motherhood and caregiving evolved after becoming a parent. Initially, Strauss was afraid of losing her identity to motherhood and rejected practices like hiring a doula or joining new mom groups. However, as her children grew older and began communicating, she found caring for them to be intellectually and creatively stimulating.
Strauss discusses how the work of caregiving, though often devalued in society, can facilitate moral transformation and self-discovery. She explores the 'glass door' separating the public and private spheres, arguing that the intimacy of care should be valued alongside public accomplishments. Strauss also shares how observing paid caregivers interact with her children enriched her own approach to parenting.
The episode delves into the economic realities of care work, including the low wages paid to many caregivers despite the essential service they provide. Strauss describes how incorporating Shabbat rituals into her family's routine helped create a sense of community and reprieve from 'productivity culture'. Ultimately, she found motherhood to be a profound journey of self-discovery rather than a loss of identity.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Motherhood and caregiving, though often viewed as diminishing to one's identity, can be a profound journey of self-discovery and moral growth.
- The societal devaluation of care work, both unpaid domestic labor and low-wage professional caregiving, is an injustice that warrants re-examination.
- Observing paid caregivers interact with one's children can provide valuable insights and perspectives that enrich one's own parenting approach.
- Establishing rituals and designated breaks from the relentless routine of caregiving is essential for personal rejuvenation and reconnection.
- The philosophical discourse around the ethics of care offers a deeper, more meaningful framework for understanding the transformative experience of caregiving.
- Overcoming initial fears about losing oneself to motherhood can open the door to embracing its intellectually and creatively stimulating aspects.
- Engaging one's children in open dialogue and honoring their unique perspectives facilitates mutual growth and self-reflection for both parent and child.
- Incorporating aspects of different cultural and religious traditions can imbue family life with a greater sense of community and connection.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “I feel like sometimes we care if we keep it small. We dont think we need the reprieve when we really need the reprieve.“ by Alyssa Strauss
- “You know, I'm happy, like, being the partish time worker for periods of time and whatnot, but I am not okay with contributing to the wage gap. And that really burned.“ by Alyssa Strauss
- “I think internally, the change really started to happen when my children learned to speak, and that's when they started becoming not just their own, like, fascinating, singular consciousnesses, but also a mirror to who I was.“ by Alyssa Strauss
- “If I had, like, had these, you know, I was so busy with the doulas, and we all should have been reading this stuff. You know, it's like, this is. This is the conversation that needs to be had.“ by Alyssa Strauss
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Death, Sex & Money
Slate Podcasts
6/4/24