DeepSummary
Meagan and Sarah discuss the importance of allowing kids to gain independence during the summer, whether through summer camps, sleepovers, or other experiences outside of their comfort zones. They share personal stories of their own kids facing such situations, including the anxiety and hesitation that often comes with it for both the kids and parents.
The hosts emphasize the need to properly prepare kids for these more independent experiences by involving them in the process, teaching them essential skills like identifying trustworthy adults and communicating their needs, and sometimes giving them an "out" in social situations. They also touch on the different dynamics at play as kids get older and face more complex social pressures.
While acknowledging that it's natural for parents to worry, Meagan and Sarah suggest finding a balance between reasonable safety concerns and allowing kids to experience discomfort and failure, which can be vital for their growth. They recommend books that provide valuable insights on this topic.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Allowing kids to gain independence through summer experiences like camps and sleepovers can be vital for their growth, even if it causes anxiety for both kids and parents.
- Proper preparation is key, including involving kids in the process, teaching essential skills, and having a plan for if things don't go well.
- As kids get older, the challenges become more complex, requiring additional strategies like coded messages to extract them from difficult social situations.
- While safety is important, parents should try to encourage kids to experience discomfort and failure, as these experiences foster resilience and growth.
- Books like 'The Gift of Failure' and 'How to Raise an Adult' can provide valuable insights for parents on allowing kids to spread their wings.
- Finding the right balance between heeding safety concerns and trusting the desire for kids to have new experiences is an ongoing challenge for parents.
- Summer provides a relatively low-stakes environment for kids to practice independence, as experiences are often shorter and easier to exit if needed.
- Parents should be prepared for their own emotions as kids become more independent, as the process can be bittersweet, especially as kids get older and leave home.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “So sometimes a situation might be scary up front or sometimes they might get themselves a little over their head.“ by Meagan Francis
- “If your fear is telling you one thing and your longing is telling you another, like, or your heart or your gut or whatever, trust the longing.“ by Sarah Powers
- “And right up until we pulled up, they were texting back and forth, and she was asking him to tell her all the tips, and, like, it was a really cute exchange, and he was giving her, like, like, where to. Where to swim in the lake to stay away from, like, the minnows.“ by Meagan Francis
Entities
Book
Product
Person
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Podcast
Episode Information
The Mom Hour
Mom Hour Media
4/19/24
Summer lets kids expand their experiences, gain new skills, and experience independence – but those opportunities can be scary, too! In this classic replay from 2022, Meagan and Sarah share stories about the times our kids seemed vulnerable when faced with more independence, how those nerves showed up in our children (and ourselves!), how we handled our nervous energy, and planned for major milestones with kids who were nervous to spread their wings. Enjoy!
HELPFUL LINKS:
- This playlist has over 30 episodes of The Mom Hour about planning for summer
- Sarah has found the books The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey and How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims very motivating to encourage kids to get outside their comfort zones.
- Sarah heard Martha Beck talking about brain science on Glennon Doyle’s podcast We Can Do Hard Things
- Read our Contributor Joanne’s blog post, “This Is Too Hard!”: How I’m Showing My Kids The Importance Of Doing Hard Things
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