DeepSummary
The episode discusses the concept of values versus goals in relationships, and how to create a values-driven relationship. The guest, Coulter Bloxam, explains the difference between values (cardinal directions) and goals (specific destinations). He emphasizes the importance of identifying and clarifying one's values, and communicating them with one's partner.
Bloxam shares his process of creating a list of values each year and defining what those values mean to him personally. He talks about the need to align values with one's partner, and finding ways to engage in each other's values or meeting certain needs individually when values don't completely match.
The episode covers topics like accepting differences in values, creating a manageable list of 'non-negotiables,' understanding what one truly wants versus what they think they want, and letting values guide goals and decisions within the relationship.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Distinguish between values (cardinal directions) and goals (specific destinations) in a relationship.
- Identify your core personal values and what they truly mean to you.
- Communicate and align values with your partner as much as possible.
- Accept differences in values between you and your partner, and find ways to meet certain needs individually.
- Create a manageable list of 'non-negotiable' values that are absolutely essential in your relationship.
- Understand that your values can change over time and revisit them regularly.
- Let your values guide the goals and decisions you make within the relationship.
- Be aware that what you think you want in a relationship may not actually be what's best - experience can change your perspective.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “I just think being values driven is better than being goals driven.“ by Speaker C (Coulter Bloxam)
- “You need your directions in order to reach your destinations. You need your values in order to reach your goals.“ by Speaker C (Coulter Bloxam)
- “We encourage people to get down your top ten non negotiables. These are the things that are non negotiable in my relationship.“ by Speaker C (Coulter Bloxam)
- “And there's certain things that she has on her list that I'm not ever going to do and certain things I have on my list. But I think there's also asking your partner to meet one of your needs, um, in a certain way that's maybe not their cup of tea.“ by Speaker C (Coulter Bloxam)
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Episode Information
Relationship Advice
Hosted by: Chase Kosterlitz, Produced by: Sarah Kosterlitz
6/6/24