DeepSummary
The episode begins with a caller, Echo Charles, asking Jocko Willink for advice about his 6-year-old son who lacks confidence, especially around his mother after their divorce. He signed his son up for wrestling, but the son was hesitant and didn't want to participate, crying during the first practice. Charles feels conflicted as he wants to build his son's confidence but also doesn't want to force activities on him.
Willink advises Charles not to worry too much, as the son is still very young and will eventually find his interests. He suggests making jiu-jitsu fun at home without pressure, and focusing on building trust, listening, respect, and caring for his son. Willink emphasizes that forcing activities can backfire and undermine the son's confidence further.
The discussion also touches on praising children for good behavior rather than scolding them for mistakes, as constant criticism can damage self-esteem. Willink and Charles agree that a supportive, understanding approach that gives the child space to find his interests naturally is best for building true confidence.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Don't force activities or high expectations on young children that they resist, as it can undermine their self-confidence.
- Make martial arts and physical play fun at home in a relaxed, non-structured way that removes pressure.
- Focus on building trust, listening, respect, and caring with your child rather than criticism and forced participation.
- Praise good behavior and efforts rather than pointing out mistakes, as constant criticism damages self-esteem.
- Be aware that children can sense parental disappointment even through non-verbal cues.
- A child's lack of confidence at a very young age is normal and not a major concern if given space to develop interests.
- Patience, support and understanding a child's perspective is key to naturally building true self-confidence.
- Confidence issues between divorced parents can be delicately navigated through caring communication.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “You wrestled with him on the other days. Wrestle with a little extra. Have some fun with him on the weekends. Get some mats in the house, dude in the carpet, dude in the bed. That's. That's what we're doing, man. Make it fun. No pressure.“ by Jocko Willink
- “Trust, listen, respect, influence, and care. That's what you should be focused on with your kid.“ by Jocko Willink
- “The thing you watch out for is like, they can read. You know how a dog can tell when you're, like, mad or whatever? Your kid, when you're disappointed in your kid, they can see it. So when the kid is like, bummed out, they know that the way that they behaved made you disappointed. Now they. Same thing. It's basically the same as a scolding. It's just a non verbal.“ by Jocko Willink
Entities
Person
Product
Episode Information
Jocko Podcast
Jocko DEFCOR Network
6/17/24
Self confidence issues you might be causing.
Injury holding you back in life.
Balancing obsessions and priorities.
Making sure you're ready to begin a career path.
Overcoming fears of confrontation.
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