DeepSummary
The episode features a conversation between Jenée Desmond-Harris and Dr. Orna Guralnik, a clinical psychologist and host of Showtime's 'Couples Therapy'. They discuss three letters from readers: one about a friend obsessed with misogynistic relationship podcasts, another about a husband who struggles with gift-giving for birthdays, and a third from someone questioning if therapy is effective for them.
Dr. Guralnik offers insights into the underlying dynamics behind the issues raised in the letters. For the friend obsessed with podcasts, she suggests the letter writer try to have compassion for her friend's loneliness and envy rather than trying to convince her out of it. With the husband's gift-giving, she explores how it could relate to his own anxieties about pleasing his wife.
On the effectiveness of therapy, Dr. Guralnik explains the different types of therapies available, from short-term cognitive behavioral therapies to longer-term psychoanalytic approaches. She advises the letter writer struggling with therapy to find a therapist they can discuss their mistrust issues with openly.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Approach relationships with compassion and understanding, rather than trying to convince others out of their feelings.
- Focus on the positive ways a partner is showing up, rather than fixating on areas of disappointment.
- There are different types of therapies available, from short-term cognitive behavioral to longer-term psychoanalytic approaches.
- If struggling with therapy, find a therapist you can openly discuss your mistrust issues with.
- Misogynistic relationship advice often promotes harmful gender roles and unrealistic expectations.
- Gift-giving can be challenging for some due to underlying anxieties about pleasing their partner.
- Loneliness and envy are difficult emotions that require compassion rather than dismissal.
- Differences in perspectives and choices within friendships can be opportunities for self-reflection and growth.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “Keep the state of the world in mind and hold your actual relationship with tenderness. Considering what's going on in the world, it's great advice.“ by Orna Geralnik
- “I would say find a therapist with whom you can talk about what's going on with this mistrust. It sounds like any hint of mismatch or disappointment evokes really intense reactions in him. So they are suspecting. I feel the problem is me. So the problem seems to be, first of all, mistrust and difficulty letting another person in. So I would start with a therapist that can talk to them about that.“ by Orna Geralnik
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Episode Information
Dear Prudence
Slate Podcasts
6/21/24
Today, we’re revisiting one of our favorite episodes from September 2023 with Dr. Orna Guralnik (host of Showtime’s Couples Therapy).
In this episode, Dr. Orna Guralnik joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about what to do when a friend is obsessed with misogynistic love and relationship podcasts, when your husband just can’t figure out birthday gifts, and when you’re wondering “Does therapy just not work for me?”
If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate Plus, Slate’s membership program. Jenée answers an extra question every week, just for members.
Go to Slate.com/prudieplus to sign up. It’s just $15 for your first three months.
Podcast production by Se’era Spragley Ricks and Daisy Rosario, with help from Maura Currie.
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