DeepSummary
In this podcast episode, Dr. Rangan Chatterjee and author Charles Duhigg discuss habits, why it's challenging to make new behaviors stick, and the importance of finding rewards and cues to reinforce positive habits. They explore the concept of keystone habits, small wins, and cultivating momentum to create lasting change.
The conversation then shifts to the significance of effective communication. They discuss the inherent human need for connection through meaningful conversations, the traits of 'super communicators,' and practical techniques like asking deep questions, mirroring others' speech patterns, and showing genuine curiosity to foster understanding.
Duhigg emphasizes overcoming the fear of vulnerability, encouraging listeners to embrace authentic communication. He provides insights on navigating online interactions, managing group dynamics, and connecting with loved ones, underscoring that good communication skills enrich relationships and overall well-being.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Building new habits requires identifying cues, behaviors, and rewards - and continually reinforcing rewards as the habit becomes routine.
- Small, incremental progress and celebrating small wins can create powerful momentum for lasting change.
- Keystone habits like exercise can trigger positive ripple effects across multiple areas of life.
- Effective communication stems from a genuine desire to understand others, not convince or impress them.
- Asking deep, open-ended questions that explore feelings and motivations fosters meaningful connection.
- Mirroring others' speech patterns, tone, and body language signals you're listening and want to connect.
- Overcoming fears of vulnerability by being authentic enables deeper communication and relationships.
- Good communication skills enrich personal relationships, professional success, and overall well-being.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “Communication is homo sapiens' superpower, right? It is the reason why our species has succeeded so much better than every other animal species. It's why we're at the top of the heap, is because our ability to communicate allows us to form families, it allows us to form villages, towns, cities.“ by Charles Duhigg
- “If we say something meaningful, if we call up or we send a note and we do exactly what you said, and we say, like, look, this is what. This is what I'm feeling authentically for you and your dad right now. And I just. I just want you to know that it's not just in your life that he was important. It was in my life. And here's the thing that I carry from him that's so meaningful.“ by Charles Duhigg
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Episode Information
Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee
Dr Rangan Chatterjee
3/20/24
My philosophy as a doctor has always been connect first, educate second. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. And this goes for all relationships, not just doctor-patient.
Good communication is something we’d all like to master. And today’s guest, Charles Duhigg, author of Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, is here to help us do it. A graduate of Harvard Business School and Yale College, Charles has won a prestigious Pulitzer Prize for his investigative reporting and he is also the author of international bestselling book, The Power of Habit, which has sold over 10 million copies to date.
We start off our conversation, talking about habits, and why it is that so many of us struggle to make our new desired behaviours stick. The brain wants rewards and it needs cues. The trouble is we tend to let both of those things go, once we think a behaviour is becoming routine. But Charles shares that that’s exactly when we need to double down and take steps to make our new behaviours feel more enjoyable. We also discuss the science of small wins, momentum and the importance of keystone habits.
We then move on to talking about the importance of good communication. Good communication is inherently rewarding. It’s how humans connect, form families,
villages, and share information. Charles believes all of us are capable of being supercommunicators and having more meaningful conversations. And during this episode, he explains some of the skills involved, such as mirroring others and asking deeper questions – those that probe feelings not facts.
Finally, we talk about how fear of saying the wrong thing can often stop us from being vulnerable and connecting, why supercommunicators ask 10 to 20 times more questions than the average person and how they often shine in group situations, not by being the ‘ideas person’, but by giving the right people a spotlight.
This was a truly wonderful conversation - full of practical insights to help you build better habits and become a better communicator in all aspects of your life.
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Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/436
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