DeepSummary
Sabrina, the host, interviews Therapy Jeff, a therapist who specializes in couples counseling. They discuss what a secure relationship looks like, and Jeff explains that in a secure relationship, partners work together to address issues and make compromises to meet each other's needs. In insecure relationships, people often focus only on their own needs.
They explore the concept of the "spark" in relationships. Jeff admits to being someone who chases the spark and the excitement of new relationships, which often comes from a place of insecurity and avoiding intimacy. However, he acknowledges that the spark fades eventually, and a secure, stable relationship allows for deeper emotional intimacy and trust.
The conversation also touches on handling rejection in dating. Jeff suggests asking for feedback from those who rejected you to gain insight, as long as you can handle it without taking it personally. He also advises taking breaks from dating apps if the constant micro-rejections become too much.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Secure relationships involve partners working together to address issues and find compromises that meet both their needs.
- The "spark" or excitement in dating often stems from insecurity and avoiding intimacy, and fades over time in a stable relationship.
- Intimate relationships allow for deeper emotional connection and trust beyond just the initial "spark".
- It can be helpful to ask for feedback from rejected dates, as long as you can handle it objectively and not take it personally.
- Constant micro-rejections on dating apps can lead to resentment, so it's important to take breaks when needed.
- Even secure relationships will have moments of doubt or desire for drama/excitement, but choosing harmony is healthier.
- Your anxieties and desire for a relationship don't disappear in a secure partnership - you'll still need to work through issues.
- Communication, empathy, consistency and feeling truly cared for are signs of a secure partner.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “You know, like, sometimes you have to choose between, like, harmony, which you made that choice in that moment of, I'm going to choose harmony instead of chaos or instead of excitement or instead of drama. And sometimes the allure of drama and chaos and excitement is so alluring that you're just like, fuck it, I'm going to leave this securely attached relationship.“ by Therapy Jeff
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Episode Information
Do The Work
Do The Work
9/1/23
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