DeepSummary
Alexis Fernandez answers listener questions on her podcast 'Do You F*cking Mind?'. The first question is from a woman in her 20s who has been in a relationship with her partner for a few years. While the relationship is now stable, there were past issues, mainly from her partner's side. She wants to share self-help advice with her partner to improve their relationship, but her partner is not interested. Alexis advises finding a middle ground, having engaging conversations, and accepting that you cannot force someone to change.
The second question is about a friend who struggles with mental health issues, body image, and unhealthy relationship patterns. The listener feels resentful as her friend doesn't seem to change despite her support. Alexis suggests evaluating the friendship dynamic and potentially stepping back from being overly invested if the friend is unwilling to work on herself.
The final question is from a woman whose sex life with her long-term partner is dwindling. Her partner has a high sex drive but lacks effort in foreplay, making her uninterested. Alexis emphasizes the importance of mutual care and effort in intimacy, and advises having an honest conversation about needs or considering if the relationship is worth continuing if there's no improvement.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Find compromises and meet in the middle when navigating differing goals or expectations in relationships.
- Have open and honest conversations about needs and boundaries in a relationship.
- Evaluate the dynamics and levels of investment in friendships, and be willing to step back if they become consistently one-sided or unhealthy.
- Mutual care, effort and consideration of each other's needs and perspectives are essential for a healthy intimate relationship.
- You cannot force someone to change or work on themselves; change has to come from their own willingness and receptiveness.
- Inappropriate or dismissive behavior from a partner reflects more about them than you, and should be addressed through honest communication or reevaluation of the relationship.
- Make sure your own needs are being met in a relationship, and don't excuse or enable unhealthy behavior from a partner out of fear of losing them.
- Different people have different needs, communication styles and paces when it comes to personal growth, intimacy and conflict resolution in relationships.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “You've clearly spoken many times. She shut you out every single time. She's not receptive to what you have to say. And at the end of the day, no matter how much you love somebody, that doesn't cause them to change.“ by Alexis Fernandez
- “I think it's really difficult when you are in such a close friendship group and everyone's evolving at their own pace, but there's, you know, like you grow in different directions.“ by Alexis Fernandez
- “But you've got to look at it from her perspective as well. Not saying you should excuse these behaviors that you don't like, but you've got to look at it from like, oh, well, no wonder she might not want to do this. No wonder she's aversive to this. No wonder she doesn't enjoy these conversations.“ by Alexis Fernandez
Entities
Concept
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Episode Information
Do You F*cking Mind?
LiSTNR
4/3/24
It's Headnoise my beans and that means it’s time for me to answer your questions. Here’s what I’m tackling this week. AND if you want me to answer your question just email me at info@dyfmpod.com
- I’ve had the same partner for a few years and we’re two women in our 20s. We’ve had a few bumps in the road as most relationships do, and without sounding like a douche a fair few have them have been her doing/from her. She has pushed me away quite a few times and treated our relationship poorly in the beginning. We’ve been in a more stable and healthy relationship in the last 9 months. I still think we can get better from both sides, and listening to your podcast has made me want to share your advice with her. She doesn’t like self-help or advice books and things. How can I get her more invested without pushing her boundaries. Am I being needy and are my expectations unfair?
- My best mate of many years has a complicated life and mental health struggles. She has serious enmeshment with everyone she meets. Her self-image is the most important quality to her. She’s struggled with her body image issues and projected that onto her friends. She’s very rarely single for longer that 2 weeks. She’s in therapy but mostly focuses on her sexual and romantic relationships. She’s quite selfish. I’m struggling with resentment given how long we have been friends and how badly her behaviour affects me and others.
- Sex in my long term relationship is fizzling. I’m worried about getting the ick too after a few therapy sessions where the counsellor called out red flags in my partners behaviour. My partner really is quite sexually physical and I’m just not interested in his lacklustre foreplay and just want him to hurry up so I can go to sleep. I know this question is asked a lot but what can I do? I love my partner and don’t want this to be the end.
LINKS
- Listen to 'Where Should We Begin' with Esther Perel https://www.estherperel.com/podcast .
- Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
- Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
- Follow @alexispredez on IG
- Follow @listnrentertainment on IG
CREDITS
Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh
Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com
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