DeepSummary
The podcast host, Alexis Fernandez, starts the episode by introducing that she will be answering three listener questions. The first question is about a friend who has been having an affair for over 10 years and confided in the listener, but when the listener tried to advise her, she kept making excuses. Alexis advises that the listener should not feel obligated to intervene or tell the husband unless their loyalty lies with him, as it's an unfair burden.
The second question is about a situationship the listener is developing feelings for, despite agreeing to be casual friends with benefits. Alexis advises being honest with oneself about catching feelings and either walking away if the other person is not interested in a relationship, or risking vulnerability by expressing romantic interest.
The third question is from someone in a 4-year relationship where the partner does not want children, but the listener does. They have been going to couple's therapy, but the partner has not changed his stance. Alexis empathizes with the difficult situation and advises that if the listener deeply wants children, and the partner is firm about not wanting them, then the only options are to stay and sacrifice that desire or leave the relationship.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Be honest with yourself about your feelings in relationships, even casual ones.
- Don't burden others with the consequences of your personal choices, like having an affair.
- Major life decisions like having children should align with your core values, not just your partner's preferences.
- Open communication and therapy can help navigate relationship conflicts, but may not resolve foundational differences.
- Sometimes walking away from an otherwise good relationship is necessary if core needs cannot be met.
- Withholding vulnerability does not prevent emotional hurt if genuine feelings develop.
- Relationship advice should be viewed through your own lens, as only you can make the right choice for your situation.
- Following your heart's true desires, while difficult, is better than long-term resentment from unfulfilled sacrifices.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “If you're going to have an affair, deal with the guilt on your own. Don't fucking bring other cunts into the picture and be like, now we can share the burden.“ by Alexis Fernandez
- “You don't want to make it. You don't want to make the wrong one for somebody else. Okay, hopefully that helped.“ by Alexis Fernandez
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Episode Information
Do You F*cking Mind?
LiSTNR
3/21/24
This is my HEAD NOISE episode where you send in your questions and I answer them!
In this episode you’ve asked for my advice on these questions.
- A friend of mine admitted that she had been having an affair for 10 years. Looking back I think she told me because she was looking for someone to condone her behaviour. Unfortunately for her I did not. Every time I pointed her in the direction of bettering her situation she would come up with an excuse. I don’t know what else to do. Is this friendship a lost cause?
- I'm starting to get feelings for my “Situationship” or as I’ve started calling it, my situationshit. I met him 4 years ago when travelling and had a one night thing. We kept in touch here and there over the years. Cut to few years later when we were both single again and started having amazing weekends together whenever travel plans aligned. The thing is, I now live closer to him (the reason I moved is separate to him) and I can feel myself getting proper feelings. What should I do?
- My partner and I have been together for 4 years and in our early 30s. I really want children but he doesn’t/ We’ve been talking about it on and off for 18 months and have been going to therapy about it. I’m holding on to hope – how long is too long to hold on to that hope.
LINKS:
- Send YOUR Head Noise questions to info@dyfmpod.com
- Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
- Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
- Follow @alexispredez on IG
- Follow @listnrentertainment on IG
CREDITS
Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh
Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.