DeepSummary
The podcast features an interview with Lori Gottlieb, a renowned psychotherapist and bestselling author, discussing various aspects of relationships and dating. Gottlieb shares insights on people's expectations and behaviors in relationships, the impact of societal changes on dating dynamics, and the importance of understanding oneself to foster healthy connections.
One key topic addressed is the disconnect between people's expectations and reality when it comes to finding a partner. Gottlieb highlights how unrealistic expectations, influenced by factors like social media and cultural norms, can hinder the ability to form meaningful connections. She emphasizes the need to focus on character traits rather than superficial qualities.
The discussion also explores the challenges faced by men and women in navigating changing gender roles and societal expectations. Gottlieb provides perspectives on issues such as the divide between men's and women's emotional expression, the impact of income disparities on relationships, and the evolving roles and expectations of partners.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Manage expectations and focus on character traits rather than superficial qualities when seeking a partner.
- Understand and address the impact of societal changes on gender roles and emotional expression in relationships.
- Foster a sense of truly knowing and being known in relationships to fulfill the fundamental human need for connection.
- Prioritize emotional maturity, flexibility, and generosity in partners to increase the likelihood of a lasting relationship.
- Recognize and address unrealistic expectations influenced by societal narratives, such as the pressure for a partner to fulfill all emotional needs.
- Embrace vulnerability and open communication to deepen connections and understand each other's perspectives.
- Seek vitality, or a sense of aliveness, rather than solely pursuing happiness in relationships and life.
- Be aware of the potential for loneliness and lack of meaningful connections, despite the illusion of connectedness through social media.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “There's something to be said for the people who knew you when you were young. There's something about that, about really being known, because I think in relationship, people really want to know and be known.“ by Lori Gottlieb
- “If you look at what are the most important things that would predict whether a relationship is going to last is really important, are very important, and then emotional is really important.“ by Lori Gottlieb
- “I think most people are really seeking connection of some sort that they don't have in their lives. And there's a sense of being alone, whether it's, I'm the only person who feels this way. I'm so ashamed. I don't know why I'm so anxious or I'm so depressed, or it's a feeling of I feel like I have all these sort of friends kind of peripherally or friends in the world if you look at their social media, but they don't really have someone that they could call and say, I really need to talk to you about this.“ by Lori Gottlieb
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Episode Information
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
DOAC
3/11/24
Relationships and romance aren't easy, but are you making it harder than it needs to be?
Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and a bestselling author, she is also the co-host of the ‘Dear Therapists’ podcast. Her New York Times bestselling books include, ‘Maybe You Should Talk to Someone’ and ‘Mr Good Enough’.
In this conversation Lori and Steven discuss topics such as, why men should always pay for the date, the best age according to statistics to get married, what women really want in a man, and the simple trick to show what is missing in your relationship.
(00:00) Intro
(02:08) How to Live the Life You Want
(05:06) Lack of Human Connections Leads to Relationship Pressure
(06:21) Why the Majority Aren't Satisfied with Their Relationships
(08:01) The Need to Be Understood
(09:47) Why Men Struggle More Opening Up in the Relationship
(16:34) Setting Unreal Expectations When Looking for a Partner
(19:40) We're Too Picky on Dating Apps
(24:57) High Expectations, Can They Be Lowered?
(28:04) Gender Differences in Dating
(33:44) The Type of People That Seek Bad Partners
(35:11) How to Help Those People
(36:49) Financial Differences in Dating
(42:53) People Are Choosing Not to Have Kids and Get Married
(49:02) What Happens When a Woman Earns More in the Relationship
(51:08) The Big Debate on a First Date
(56:35) Red Flags in First Dates
(59:51) The Age You Marry Is Linked to Divorce Risk
(01:03:32) You Need to Learn to Unknow Yourself
(01:05:35) The Impact of Seeking Approval
(01:12:20) When Your Friends Sabotage You When You Try to Change
(01:20:46) Do Women Express More Emotion Than Men?
(01:22:38) Do Our Dreams Have True Meanings?
(01:25:08) The Safety of Self-Compassion
(01:26:55) The Opposite of Depression Isn't Happiness
(01:29:46) The Grief of Heartbreak and How to Recover
(01:37:53) How to Help Someone Going Through Heartbreak
(01:45:02) Last Guest Question
You can find the link to the graph on age and divorce risk here: https://bit.ly/49KpKrM
You can pre-order Lori’s book, ‘Maybe You Should Talk to Someone’, here: https://amzn.to/43aSMyq
Follow Lori
Twitter - https://bit.ly/434PAEB
Instagram - https://bit.ly/3PeOVup
Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/3kxINCANKsb
My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now - https://smarturl.it/DOACbook
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https://beacons.ai/diaryofaceo
Sponsors:
WHOOP: https://join.whoop.com/en-uk/CEO
ZOE: http://joinzoe.com with an exclusive code CEO2024 for 10% off
Uber: https://p.uber.com/creditsterms
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