DeepSummary
The episode is a counseling session between psychotherapist Esther Perel and a middle-aged couple who have been together for 17 years. Despite their loving and positive relationship, they go months without connecting sexually. The partner transitioned 10 years ago, and they're both experiencing the physical changes of aging.
Esther guides them through body exercises to help them find sexual spaces amidst the crush of everyday life. They discuss their struggles with initiating intimacy, feeling desired, and communicating their needs and desires to each other. Esther encourages them to be more open, confident, and communicative about their sexual wants and desires.
Through the exercises, the couple rediscovers their ability to be vulnerable, sensual, and present with each other. They commit to creating rituals and space for reconnecting physically and emotionally, beyond just the act of sex.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Maintaining sexual intimacy in long-term relationships requires intentional work and creating dedicated space away from life's distractions.
- Open and vulnerable communication about needs, desires, and turn-ons is essential for keeping the spark alive.
- Confidence and feeling desired is a key component of feeling sexy, even as bodies change over time.
- Transitioning genders tests couples' ability to stay attracted and adapt their erotic scripts.
- Psychotherapists can help couples rebuild erotic intimacy through guided exercises and reframing negative mindsets.
- Simply initiating touch, kissing, and intimate moments despite self-doubt helps reignite physical closeness between partners.
- Making efforts to stay present and prioritize quality time together nurtures the intimate connection.
- Aging involves accepting changes to bodies and sexuality while still embracing desire and sensuality.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “I want to feel like I am a whole person and a whole sexual person. And I want to feel like you want something and I want to give it to you. And I want to figure out. I want to know what that is.“ by Unnamed Partner
- “If you come with the insecurities, the fears, the defeating narratives, she'll want to take care of you, but she will never be desirous of you. She'll want to nurture you. That's a different feeling.“ by Esther Perel
- “The whole communication is actually about bringing the other person into the experience. So whatever you would want in order to get in the mood to join her can start now.“ by Esther Perel
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Episode Information
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Esther Perel Global Media
4/29/24
This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A middle-aged couple, together for seventeen years, best friends and partners who, despite their loving and positive relationship, go months without connecting sexually. He transitioned 10 years ago, and they’re both experiencing the physical changes of aging. Esther guides them through body exercises, in an effort to help them find sexual spaces amidst the crush of everyday life.
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