DeepSummary
The episode is a discussion with Thais Gibson, an expert on attachment theory, about the avoidant attachment style and its two components: avoidant dismissive and avoidant fearful. They discuss how this attachment style develops, its behavioral manifestations, the differences in prevalence and behaviors between men and women, and ways to heal and move forward from an avoidant pattern.
Thais explains that the avoidant attachment style stems from childhood experiences where one's needs for attunement and emotional connection were not met, leading to a coping mechanism of suppressing the need for attachment. She differentiates between the fearful avoidant style, characterized by a yearning for closeness coupled with a fear of engulfment, and the dismissive avoidant style, marked by emotional neglect and a fear of being trapped or criticized.
Thais outlines a framework for healing an avoidant attachment pattern, which includes reprogramming core wounds, learning to meet one's own needs, communicating those needs to others, setting healthy boundaries, and practicing nervous system regulation. She emphasizes that with commitment and consistent work, it is possible to transition to a secure attachment style within a 90-day period.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Avoidant attachment style develops from childhood experiences where emotional needs were not met, leading to suppression of attachment needs.
- Fearful avoidant style involves a push-pull cycle of yearning for closeness but fearing engulfment.
- Dismissive avoidant style stems from emotional neglect and a fear of being trapped or criticized.
- Men are more likely to exhibit dismissive avoidant patterns, while women tend toward anxious attachment styles.
- Healing avoidant attachment involves reprogramming core wounds, meeting one's needs, communicating needs effectively, setting boundaries, and nervous system regulation.
- With commitment and consistent work, it is possible to transition to a secure attachment style within a 90-day period.
- Societal factors like stress, burnout, and lack of emotional availability can contribute to insecure attachment styles.
- Understanding attachment theory provides a framework for understanding and improving how we relate to others and form connections.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “So core wounds, learning to meet our own needs. Learning to communicate our needs to others using healthy strategies. Sometimes we go, you never spend enough time with me. Instead of, hey, I miss you, I feel disconnected this week. I'd love to plan something fun on the weekend. That's called positive framing. When we positively frame, we're more likely to get heard.“ by Thais Gibson
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Episode Information
The Psychology of your 20s
iHeartPodcasts
5/7/24
Attachment theory is often misunderstood but when we have the correct knowledge and information it can transform how we relate to others. In today's episode we break down one of these styles, the avoidant attachment, along with it's two components: avoidant dismissive and avoidant fearful. We discuss how this style develops, its expression, the difference in prevalence and behaviours between men and women and how we can move forward and heal an avoidant pattern.
We are joined in today's episode by Thais Gibson, the founder of The Personal Development School and expert in attachment theory. Unlock your free trial using this link: www.personaldevelopmentschool.com/freetrial
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Follow Thais and The Personal Development School on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/?hl=en
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