DeepSummary
Dan Harris interviews psychotherapist Esther Perel about the non-negotiable practices and principles she follows in her life. Perel emphasizes the importance of generosity, staying connected with others, and not worrying alone. She discusses the role of conflict in relationships and how to handle disagreements in a productive way.
Perel talks about creating community and maintaining connections in an age of "social atrophy." She highlights practices like reaching out to others, having authentic conversations, and engaging in shared activities. Perel believes these interactions help combat loneliness and anxiety caused by a lack of uncertainty and discomfort in modern life.
Towards the end, Perel recommends simple ways to foster connections, such as calling someone's voice, apologizing, going for a walk together, or cooking with others. She emphasizes the importance of these small gestures in maintaining well-being and not feeling alone.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.
- Staying connected with others is crucial for well-being and combating loneliness.
- Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but can be productive if handled respectfully.
- Modern life breeds excessive comfort and certainty, hindering social skills and tolerance.
- Small gestures like calling, apologizing, going for walks help foster meaningful connections.
- Social isolation and atrophy of conflict resolution skills have broad societal consequences.
- Gender roles conditioning men to be self-reliant and stoic contributes to loneliness and early mortality.
- Experiencing some discomfort and uncertainty is healthy for human development.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “There's nothing intrinsic in masculinity that sets us up for that.“ by Esther Perel
- “Because there is a sense, an internalized set of messages by which men often think they have to do it by themselves, that the depend on others is a diminishment of them and a belittlement of who they are, and that the power comes in the stoicism and in the fearlessness and in the self reliance, et cetera, et cetera.“ by Esther Perel
- “One of the questions I asked at a recent talk that I did was almost 4000 people. And I asked, did you grow up playing freely on the street? Did you? Do your children grow up playing freely on the street?“ by Esther Perel
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Episode Information
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Esther Perel Global Media
1/3/24
Our friend Dan Harris hosts the Ten Percent Happier podcast. A skeptical journalist, Dan had a panic attack on live TV that sent him on a journey that led him to try something he otherwise wouldn't have considered: meditation. He went on to write the best-selling book, 10% Happier. The show features interviews with top scientists, celebrities and experts in the field of mindfulness. And Dan's approach is seemingly modest, but secretly radical: happiness is a skill you can train, just like working your bicep in the gym.
Listen to more Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris: https://open.spotify.com/show/1CfW319UkBMVhCXfei8huv
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