DeepSummary
The episode features an interview with musician Johnny Solomon and his wife Molly about moving in with Johnny's mother Nancy to become her full-time caregiver as her health declined. Johnny struggled with substance abuse and mental illness earlier in his career, but after getting sober, he felt more suited to being a caregiver despite the toll it took on his music career with the band Communist Daughter.
Johnny and Molly discuss the challenges of caring for Nancy, including helping with daily tasks, communicating boundaries, and considering tough decisions like when to have children given the uncertainty of Nancy's prognosis. They talk about finding purpose in caregiving despite disrupting their previous lives on the road as touring musicians.
Years later, a follow-up with Johnny reveals that Nancy passed away after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He moved with Molly and their son Henry to Alaska, where Johnny worked in behavioral health and Molly pursued nursing, crediting the experience of caring for Nancy as inspiration. Though Nancy never met her grandson, Johnny keeps her memory alive for Henry.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Caring for an ailing family member can completely upend one's life trajectory, as evidenced by Johnny and Molly putting music careers on hold.
- The role reversal of caring for an aging parent can provide insight into one's potential as a future parent.
- Substance abuse recovery and caregiving can be transformative shared experiences that bring families together.
- Hands-on caregiving experiences can shape career paths and personal growth.
- Maintaining the memory and spirit of a lost loved one is important, especially when introducing them to younger generations who never met.
- The unpredictable, all-consuming nature of full-time caregiving requires flexibility and sacrifice.
- End-of-life caregiving, while emotionally grueling, allows for precious final moments and perspectives.
- Pursuing creative outlets and finding purpose amid caregiving duties is vital for caregiver well-being.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “I don't know, the two hardest things that I've ever been through in my life were getting sober and then going through the hospice stuff with mom. And I think it's, you know, she was a part of both of those.“ by Johnny Solomon
- “It is the thing with my mom where it's funny how, like, 90% of the time, like, when I wake up in the morning and I look at my day, it looks like I don't have anything to do. But as soon as you step out of that door, it could be like, oh, you know, mom has to go to a doctor now.“ by Johnny Solomon
- “I'd thought about nursing for a long time, but I always thought, oh, I don't know if I'll actually really like doing that. Cause I think I had heard a lot of people say, oh, you'd have to deal with this, and you wouldn't want to do that. I'm actually pretty cool with all that stuff, and I wouldn't have known that had I not taken care of your mom.“ by Molly Solomon
- “And Henry has a picture of her hanging up in his room that every night when I put him to bed, I say, that's your guardian angel. She was a battle axe of a lady, and she's probably telling God what to do up there.“ by Johnny Solomon
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Hospital
Episode Information
Death, Sex & Money
Slate Podcasts
4/9/24