DeepSummary
The episode begins with a host announcing an upcoming event for the Slow Burn podcast at the Tribeca Film Festival to celebrate the new season and Pride Month. The main segment features Jenée Desmond-Harris and her guest Kiese Laymon answering letters from listeners. The first letter is from a 19-year-old whose mother, off her medication, used a racial slur and is pretending it didn't happen. They discuss how the letter writer should respond and navigate the situation.
The next letter is about whether to report a coworker to HR for complaining about people playing music without headphones at the gym, which could impact homeless individuals who use the gym's facilities. Jenée and Kiese advise against involving HR for something not work-related.
The final letter is from a 17-year-old whose strict Baptist mother wants her to attend an in-state college, but the letter writer dreams of going out of state to her dream Ivy League school. They offer advice on how to potentially convince the mother to allow the out-of-state move.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Maintain open communication and seek to understand when dealing with loved ones who express troubling views.
- Pick your battles wisely when it comes to involving workplace authorities like HR in personal matters.
- For younger people still dependent on parents, a pragmatic approach that doesn't completely burn bridges may be needed to eventually achieve independence.
- Balancing respect for parents' values while asserting one's own differing beliefs requires nuance.
- Educating loved ones on sensitive topics is often more effective through empathy than confrontation.
- Firm boundaries are sometimes needed to limit harm from a loved one's problematic behavior.
- Mental health issues can contribute to disturbing outbursts and require compassionate management.
- College provides an opportunity for increased independence, which some sheltered young people may need to navigate carefully.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “You know, I've been writing a lot about friendship and family lately and the way we conflate them sometimes. And I think sometimes people are like, oh, chosen family. But, you know, the older I get, I don't really want to rock with too many parts of my family that haven't committed to friendship.“ by Kiese Lehman
- “I actually think, you know, you want to give wherever you go first a shot, and it just sounds like you're more likely to give that place a shot if it's somewhere you actually want to go and not someplace your mother wants you to go.“ by Kiese Lehman
- “And like Kiesa said, you can transfer. I don't think it will be the worst thing in the world if you have to start off at the in state school again because of who's paying the bill or whatever, you can just keep your head down, do your work.“ by Janae Desmond Harris
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Episode Information
Dear Prudence
Slate Podcasts
5/17/24
In this episode, Kiese Laymon (author of Long Division, How to Slowly Kill Yourself in America, and Heavy: An American Memoir) joins Prudie (Jenée Desmond-Harris) to answer letters from readers about how to convince your strict religious parents to let you go to an out-of-state college, whether to report a coworker’s insensitive gym behavior to HR, and how to deal with a mom who forgets to take her medication and immediately uses a racial slur.
If you want more Dear Prudence, join Slate Plus, Slate’s membership program. Jenée answers an extra question every week, just for members.
Go to Slate.com/prudieplus to sign up. It’s just $15 for your first three months.
This podcast is produced by Se’era Spragley Ricks, Daisy Rosario, and Jenée Desmond-Harris, with help from Maura Currie.
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