DeepSummary
The podcast episode features Ryan Wexelblatt discussing strategies to help tween and teen boys with ADHD develop social skills and make friends. He explains the difference between social executive function challenges, social anxiety, and social isolation, and how they present in boys with ADHD. Wexelblatt provides actionable strategies to help boys overcome these challenges, such as teaching perspective-taking, situational awareness, and challenging irrational thoughts.
Wexelblatt emphasizes the importance of not accommodating social anxiety and gradually exposing children to social situations. He also addresses the issue of social isolation and the need to restore a sense of belonging with family and peers. Strategies to reduce social isolation include having connecting conversations, building self-esteem based on interests, and respecting their gamer identity.
Throughout the episode, Wexelblatt stresses the role of parents and educators in teaching social skills in the moment. He cautions against relying solely on social skills groups and passive learning methods, which have limited effectiveness for children with ADHD.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Understand the difference between social executive function challenges, social anxiety, and social isolation, and how they present in boys with ADHD.
- Learn actionable strategies to help boys overcome these challenges, such as teaching perspective-taking, situational awareness, and challenging irrational thoughts.
- Do not accommodate social anxiety; gradually expose children to social situations and help them persevere through temporary discomfort.
- Reduce social isolation by restoring a sense of belonging with family and peers, building self-esteem based on interests, and respecting their gamer identity.
- Parents and educators play a crucial role in teaching social skills in the moment, rather than relying solely on social skills groups or passive learning methods.
- Set daily expectations and limits on screen time to encourage real-life social interactions and activities.
- Normalize the experience of social discomfort and challenge irrational thoughts about social situations.
- Be patient and understanding, as developing social skills and connections is a slow process for many boys with ADHD.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “So one of the things I always want people to understand is that social executive function skills is a really poorly understood topic that often doesn't go beyond just saying he doesn't read social cues.“ by Ryan Wexelblatt
- “If your son has lagging and inconsistent use of perspective taking skills, he's likely going to disagree with you. When you try to explain others thoughts about his words or behaviors, it's important you don't get pulled into the argument vortex.“ by Ryan Wexelblatt
- “To overcome social anxiety, you need to be able to realize that anxiety is temporary and you can persevere through it. You cannot learn this if you are allowed to avoid social anxiety, and that is why it's so important we do not accommodate social anxiety.“ by Ryan Wexelblatt
- “Boys and young men who are socially isolated, they want to be invisible to avoid their shame and feeling inferior. The way we reduce social isolation is by making contact attractive and tolerable, and that often has to start off in very small increments.“ by Ryan Wexelblatt
- “We have to help the boy or young man understand his positive attributes and respect his gamer or content creator identity because that's often the only thing that he's holding onto that he feels good about and again, becoming socially isolated and more connected is a very slow process.“ by Ryan Wexelblatt
Entities
Company
Person
Product
Book
Organization
Episode Information
ADHD Experts Podcast
ADDitude
6/18/24
Ryan Wexelblatt, LCSW, helps caregivers understand how lagging social executive function skills and social anxiety present in tween and teen boys with ADHD and shares evidence-based strategies to help boys connect with peers and develop real-life friendships.
Social Skills in Boys with ADHD: More Resources
- Get: The ADHD Guide to Making & Keeping Friends
- Replay: "Raising Socially Smart Tweens & Teens," with Ryan Wexelblatt
- Read: Understanding the Role of Anxiety in Children with ADHD
- Q&A: “My Teen Wants ‘Cool Kid’ Friends, or None at All”
Access the video and slides for podcast episode #507 here: https://www.additudemag.com/webinar/why-cant-i-make-friends-boys-adhd/
Thank you for listening to ADDitude's ADHD Experts podcast. Please consider subscribing to the magazine (additu.de/subscribe) to support our mission of providing ADHD education and support.