DeepSummary
In this episode, Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson explore the concept of self-confidence and how it differs from capability. They discuss the two paths of gaining confidence and releasing insecurity, emphasizing the importance of experiencing wins and reframing what qualifies as a win. The conversation also touches on the role of self-worth and having confidence in one's innate goodness.
The hosts delve into the differences between confidence and narcissism, highlighting that true confidence often stems from an internal sense of worth rather than external validation. They provide practical advice on dealing with situations where others try to undermine one's confidence and suggest being mindful of the environments and people one surrounds themselves with.
Towards the end, the discussion focuses on understanding the stories and beliefs that contribute to insecurity, and offers strategies for updating those beliefs based on current experiences. The episode concludes with a recap emphasizing the importance of tolerating life's challenges, experiencing wins, and expressing oneself authentically.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Self-confidence is distinct from capability, and having skills or accomplishments does not necessarily translate to confidence.
- There are two paths to building self-confidence: gaining confidence and releasing insecurity.
- Experiencing wins, even small ones, and reframing what qualifies as a win can help build self-confidence.
- Developing a sense of self-worth and confidence in one's innate goodness is crucial for lasting self-confidence.
- Self-confidence is different from narcissism, which often stems from a need for external validation and a devaluation of others.
- Facing the fear of what might happen if one expresses confidence can be challenging, but often others' reactions stem from their own biases, not the individual.
- Understanding and updating the stories and beliefs that contribute to insecurity is essential for releasing it and building self-confidence.
- Being mindful of the environments and people one surrounds themselves with can support or hinder self-confidence.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “I think the more certainly for myself, the more that I've learned to have a kind of, I guess, trust and like, my own sort of inherent goodness that we all have. Right, DACA sound special. We all have that. The more we have that kind of deep trust, the less it becomes preoccupying or upsetting to have confidence or not about externally directed accomplishments.“ by Rick Hanson
- “I wonder if part of what you're talking about here, particularly kind of the first half of it, is about redefining what a whim looks like for a person. I think that a lot of the time we have a very narrow version of what a good outcome is.“ by Forrest Hanson
- “And so by opening up what I was allowed to experience as good and being a little bit looser about what success looked like, all of a sudden, all of these enjoyable experiences were so much more on the table for me.“ by Forrest Hanson
- “In other words, if you express yourself about something and you find that other people are tuning out or they don't particularly value what you've offered really much of the time, I think probably well over half the time, that's about them and not you.“ by Rick Hanson
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Episode Information
Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson
10/16/23