DeepSummary
William Ury, a co-founder of Harvard's Program on Negotiation, shares his expertise in negotiation strategies and conflict resolution drawn from his experiences mediating boardroom battles, labor conflicts, and civil wars around the world. He discusses techniques like writing the other side's victory speech, going to the 'balcony' to gain perspective, using silence effectively, respecting dignity, and finding creative ways to satisfy both parties' interests.
Ury provides fascinating behind-the-scenes accounts of his involvement in historic negotiations like the Camp David Accords and his interactions with influential figures such as Nelson Mandela, Hugo Chávez, and Kim Jong-un. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the other side's motivations, building trust, and saying 'no' positively when necessary.
The conversation also covers Ury's new book 'Possible,' which aims to provide a framework for thriving in an age of conflict by shifting perspectives, bridging divides, and harnessing human potential. He shares insights on negotiation as a creative process, self-care routines, and hopes for the book's impact on fostering cooperation and realizing possibilities.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Understand the other side's interests and motivations, not just their stated positions.
- Respect the other party's sense of dignity and 'face' to build trust and create opportunities for agreement.
- Use silence, pausing, and strategic 'going to the balcony' to gain perspective and avoid reactive escalation.
- Aim to find creative solutions that satisfy both sides' core interests, not just compromise positions.
- Say 'no' positively when necessary, while leaving room for continued negotiation.
- Shift perspectives to see conflict as an opportunity to unlock human potential and possibilities.
- Negotiate with authenticity and commitment to your principles while remaining open to influence.
- Cultivate self-awareness, exercise, and work-life balance to sustain effective negotiation abilities.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “"Maybe the greatest power you have in a negotiation is the power not to react. It's the power to go to the balcony instead."“ by William Ury
- “"My whole life has been, in some ways, a study of the words 'yes' and 'no.'"“ by William Ury
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Episode Information
The Blog of Author Tim Ferriss
2/13/24
“The other side’s dignity may not mean much to you, but it means everything to them.”
— William Ury
William Ury (@WilliamUryGTY), cofounder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation, is one of the world’s best-known and most influential experts on negotiation. He is coauthor of Getting to Yes, the all-time best selling negotiation book in the world, the author of one of my favorite books on negotiation (Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations), and author of the new book: Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict.
He has served as a mediator in boardroom battles, labor conflicts, and civil wars around the world. An avid hiker, he lives in Colorado.
Please enjoy!
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Podcast Addict, Pocket Casts, Castbox, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or on your favorite podcast platform. Watch the interview on YouTube here.
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What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.
Want to hear my most recent interview with Jim Collins, the man who inspired William Ury to write Possible? Listen to our conversation here in which we discussed the point allocation between dark force motivations and light force motivations, why you should never hesitate to reach out to mentors and people who have been instrumental in shaping your life, influential biographies, crafting good questions, creativity-tracking spreadsheets, the 20-minute rule, the value of clock building over time telling, and much more. You can find my first conversation with Jim Collins here.
SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE
- Connect with William Ury:
- Possible: How We Survive (And Thrive) in an Age of Conflict by William Ury | Amazon
- Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, William L. Ury, and Bruce Patton | Amazon
- Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations by William Ury | Amazon
- What is a Devising Seminar? | Water Diplomacy
- The Consensus Building Approach: What Is a Devising Seminar, and How Is It Being Used to Address the Risks Facing Arctic Fisheries? | The Consensus Building Approach
- Marshall Plan (1948) | National Archives
- International Mediation, a Working Guide: Ideas for the Practitioner By Roger Fisher and William Ury | Google Books
- The United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea: Multilateral Diplomacy at Work | United Nations
- Camp David Accords and the Arab-Israeli Peace Process | Office of the Historian
- Everything You Need to Know about Egypt’s Decades-Old Peace Treaty with Israel | AP News
- A History of Roger Fisher’s Single Negotiating Text and its Application by President Jimmy Carter to the Egyptian Israeli Conflict by Chloe Simmons | University of Oregon
- Help Your Counterpart Declare a Victory, Too | Castle Negotiations
- Might Dennis Rodman at the Trump-Kim Summit Just Work? | BBC News
- William Ury: “Go to the Balcony” | Dawson School
- Boer War | National Army Museum
- Mandela: From Prison Cell to President | The History Press
- Building a Golden Bridge and Other Lessons from Dr. William Ury | Mediate
- What Is Stoicism? A Definition and Nine Stoic Exercises to Get You Started | Daily Stoic
- Speak When You’re Angry and You’ll Make the Best Speech You’ll Ever Regret | Quote Investigator
- Secrets of Power Negotiating by Roger Dawson | Amazon
- Best of What I’ve Learned | Esquire
- Dear Negotiation Coach: When Silence in Negotiation is Golden | Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School
- Face (Sociological Concept) | Wikipedia
- The Carter Center and the Peacebuilding Process in Venezuela | The Carter Center
- Bidding Against Yourself | Mediate
- William Ury: The Power of Listening | TEDxSanDiego
- What is Your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA)? | Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School
- Trust in Mediation | Beyond Intractability
- The Freeing Power of Saying “No” | Psychology Today
- How Not to Say Yes | Harvard Business Review
- The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No by William Ury | Amazon
- The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin | Amazon
- Omne Trium Perfectum | Modern Aesthetics
- The Art of War by Sun Tzu | Amazon
- 11 Famous Thinkers from History Who Were Habitual Walkers | Flâneur Life
- Why Walking Helps Us Think | The New Yorker
- A Short Walk After Meals Is All It Takes to Lower Blood Sugar | Healthline
- Story, Walking, and Hospitality | Abraham Path
SHOW NOTES
- [06:53] Connecting with Roger Fisher.
- [10:08] Devising Seminars.
- [12:31] Negotiating the Camp David Accords.
- [18:23] Writing the other side’s victory speech.
- [21:17] Writing Kim Jong-un’s victory speech.
- [26:20] Pondering possibilities in the modern Middle East.
- [29:26] Lessons from iconic possibilist Nelson Mandela.
- [32:17] Going to the balcony.
- [36:11] Mitigating the risk of emotional spiraling with Hugo Chávez.
- [40:50] The power of silence.
- [44:09] Respect and saving face.
- [51:08] Best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA).
- [1:02:49] The trust menu.
- [1:06:29] The positive no.
- [1:12:14] Closing on a positive note.
- [1:14:56] What prompted William to write Possible?
- [1:19:38] Negotiating as a creative endeavor.
- [1:22:48] Sabbatical considerations.
- [1:23:56] Exercise and self-care routines.
- [1:29:27] Uncovering interests, not just positions.
- [1:35:18] Hopes for the impact of Possible.
- [1:37:25] Parting thoughts.
MORE WILLIAM URY QUOTES FROM THE INTERVIEW
“No one likes to make a hard decision, but everybody loves to criticize.”
— William Ury
“Work backwards, think about what victory would look like, and then work forwards.”
— William Ury
“Maybe the greatest power you have in a negotiation is the power not to react. It’s the power to go to the balcony instead.”
— William Ury
“Silence is one of your very best tools in a negotiation. The art of pausing.”
— William Ury
“The other side’s dignity may not mean much to you, but it means everything to them.”
— William Ury
“A persuasive negotiator is someone who’s a persuasive listener. Because when you listen to someone, you are seeing them, you are hearing them, you’re attuning to them. You ask them questions. What is it that you really want here? You’re showing interest in them. That is the basic level of respect. And in addition to that, it gives you a lot of information about what they want so that you can more effectively influence them to arrive at something that satisfies their needs and satisfies yours at the same time.”
— William Ury
“My whole life has been, in some ways, a study of the words ‘yes’ and ‘no.'”
— William Ury
“The path to possible is to go to the balcony, build a golden bridge, and take the third side. Influence yourself, influence the other, influence the whole.”
— William Ury
“My dream is if I were a Martian anthropologist right now looking at humanity and I’d say, ‘Wow, we live in this time of paradox because we have so much abundance, so much potential, so much opportunity to make the world better. We’ve got the technology, we’ve got AI, we’ve got all this stuff.’ At the same time, what’s in our way? There’s no limit to what we could do. There’s no opportunity we can’t realize. There’s no problem we can’t solve if only we can learn to work together.”
— William Ury
PEOPLE MENTIONED
- Roger Fisher
- Cyrus Vance
- James Carter
- Louis B. Sohn
- Menachem Begin
- Anwar Sadat
- Donald Trump
- Kim Jong-un
- Barack Obama
- William J. Clinton
- George W. Bush
- Dennis Rodman
- Nelson Mandela
- Hugo Chávez
- Roger Dawson
- Cal Fussman
- Mikhail Gorbachev
- Muhammad Ali
- Jared R. Curhan
- Warren Buffett
- Bruce Patton
- Pythagoras
- Guy Kawasaki
- Jim Collins
- Charles Darwin
- Sun Tzu
The post Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More (#721) appeared first on The Blog of Author Tim Ferriss.