DeepSummary
In this episode of the Do The Work podcast, host Sabrina Zohar is joined by dating coach Eli Vasquez to discuss his journey from being an emotionally unavailable 'fuckboy' to becoming securely attached. Eli shares how he hit a low point and decided to work on himself, eventually starting his own coaching program. They delve into debunking common dating myths like 'if he wanted to, he would,' the significance of intimacy and when to sleep with someone, and whether men are more afraid of commitment than women.
Eli emphasizes the importance of open communication, expressing needs and preferences clearly without mind games or expectations. He stresses that men may struggle with vulnerability due to societal conditioning but advises women to create a safe space for their partners to open up. Sabrina and Eli also explore the role of attachment styles, self-love, and avoiding the chase mentality in relationships.
Throughout the conversation, Eli shares his perspective as a dating coach and former 'fuckboy,' aiming to help women understand men's thought processes and behaviors. Both Sabrina and Eli encourage self-awareness, emotional maturity, and prioritizing compatibility over superficial factors when it comes to building healthy, secure relationships.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- The importance of open and direct communication in relationships, rather than mind games or expectations.
- The need for self-awareness, self-love, and emotional maturity in building healthy, secure connections.
- Understanding that a person's behavior or actions in a relationship often stem from their own issues or patterns, rather than being a reflection of one's worth.
- Prioritizing compatibility, shared values, and emotional availability over superficial factors when seeking a long-term partner.
- Creating a safe space for partners to be vulnerable and express their needs without judgment.
- Recognizing that intimacy and when to engage in it should be a personal choice based on one's comfort level, not dictated by societal norms or expectations.
- Challenging the notion that men are inherently more afraid of commitment, as fear of vulnerability and intimacy can affect individuals of any gender.
- Acknowledging that healthy, secure relationships involve ongoing work, difficult conversations, and a willingness to grow together.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “If you don't know why you enabled that behavior to begin with, you are meant to be with someone like him.“ by Eli Vasquez
- “You have to create that culture of conversation and communication with each other. And you could do that early on by just sharing your preferences, which I.“ by Eli Vasquez
- “Just be super, like, direct of what actions you want them to take. I don't want to read your mind. I don't want to process these feelings. Like, I don't want to, like, figure it out. Like, mine your mind and stress to find the solution myself.“ by Eli Vasquez
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Episode Information
Do The Work
Do The Work
11/17/23
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