DeepSummary
This podcast episode discusses strategies for maintaining intimacy and a healthy sex life after having a baby. It acknowledges the challenges new parents face, such as exhaustion, lack of time, and physical and emotional changes, but emphasizes the importance of nurturing the intimate bond between partners. The experts provide advice on removing pressure around sex, broadening the definition of intimacy beyond just intercourse, rediscovering individual turn-ons and desires, and making time for each other through regular date nights and open communication.
The episode features insights from relationship coach Aaron Steinberg, relationship scientist Shai Porter, and sex and relationship expert Shan Boudreaux. They offer practical tips for initiating intimate moments, navigating mismatched libidos, and creating a safe space to discuss sexual needs and concerns. The overall message is that while intimacy may look different after having a baby, it is essential for the health of the relationship and requires conscious effort and understanding from both partners.
The experts also encourage new parents to be patient with themselves and their partners during this transitional phase. They emphasize that there is no set timeline for resuming sexual activity and that all experiences are valid. The goal is to find ways to connect emotionally and physically that work for the unique needs and desires of each couple.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Remove any pressure or set timeline for resuming sexual activity after having a baby.
- Broaden your definition of intimacy beyond just sex to include emotional connection, physical affection, and quality time together.
- Explore and communicate your individual desires, turn-ons, and boundaries around intimacy.
- Make intimacy a priority by scheduling regular date nights or couple time, free from distractions.
- Have open and honest conversations about your intimate needs, even if they feel awkward.
- Be patient and understanding with yourself and your partner as you navigate this transition.
- Recognize that all experiences are valid, and the person with the lower desire should determine the frequency of sexual activity.
- Seek educational resources or professional help if needed to improve communication and reignite your intimate connection.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “You have to mature our relationship to intimacy that for a lot of us, right, sex is something that's very taboo in our culture, and a lot of us are coming into adulthood with very childish views about sexual takeaway.“ by Aaron Steinberg
- “The blanket thing I want for people to know when it comes to postpartum sex and intimacy is that the person who wants it the least should determine how much you're having sex.“ by Shan Boudreaux
- “You do have to sacrifice and make a choice at a certain point in your relationship of like, am I just going to go to bed when the kid goes to bed because I'm exhausted or am I going to get up so we actually have some intimate alone time together. So you do have to do some kicking and screaming and fighting. Sometimes you just have to let go, let the current take you and know you're going to get through this one way or the other. It's just better to get through it together.“ by Shan Boudreaux
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Episode Information
Life Kit
NPR
6/27/24
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