DeepSummary
In this podcast episode, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist, discusses narcissism and its impact on relationships. She explains the difference between narcissism as a personality style and narcissistic personality disorder, emphasizing that most people encounter the former. Dr. Ramani delves into the patterns and dynamics of narcissistic relationships, including love bombing, lack of empathy, and manipulation.
She highlights that narcissistic individuals are often attracted to those who can provide them with supply, such as physical attractiveness, status, or praise. The episode explores the consistent patterns observed in narcissistic relationships, from the idealized love bombing phase to the gradual erosion of the partner's identity and self-worth. Dr. Ramani emphasizes the importance of radical acceptance and understanding that the narcissistic person's behavior will not change significantly.
The healing process involves grief, rebuilding one's identity, and fostering validating relationships. Dr. Ramani discusses the possibility of a narcissistic person's healing, stating that while progress is possible, it requires years of committed work, and the harm caused to others may not be fully reparable. The episode provides insights and practical strategies for identifying, understanding, and healing from narcissistic relationships.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Understand the difference between narcissism as a personality style and narcissistic personality disorder.
- Recognize the patterns and dynamics of narcissistic relationships, such as love bombing, lack of empathy, and manipulation.
- Implement radical acceptance: Accept that the narcissistic person's behavior will not change significantly.
- Embrace the grief and rebuilding process during healing from narcissistic abuse.
- Foster validating relationships and seek support from trusted individuals.
- Maintain realistic expectations regarding the possibility of a narcissistic person's healing.
- Prioritize self-care and rebuilding one's identity during the healing process.
- Develop discernment and establish healthy boundaries to avoid attracting narcissistic individuals.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “Narcissistic people are attracted to people who will give them supply, physical attractiveness, status, praise. So you just being a nice person and praising someone could actually be what makes you attractive to them.“ by Dr. Ramani Durvasula
- “Radical acceptance is the absolute acceptance that these patterns are not. This person's behavior is not going to change, at least not significantly enough to make this into a healthy relationship, that this behavior affected you. And as long as you're in the purview of this behavior, as long as they keep doing this to you, it will keep hurting you.“ by Dr. Ramani Durvasula
- “Grief is the most human of experiences. All human beings lose, right? We lose something or someone, and we all have a very similar experience internally. We grieve, and that's why we have rituals, right?“ by Dr. Ramani Durvasula
Entities
Company
Product
Person
Book
Episode Information
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
iHeartPodcasts
3/4/24
Why do we fall victim to love bombing?
Why do we often attract narcissists?
Dr. Ramani is back with eye-opening and science-based insights on narcissism. Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting.
Dr. Ramani discusses the difference between narcissism versus narcissistic personality disorder. She dives into the signs of love bombing and how to stop attracting narcissists. Dr. Ramani also talks about the practical strategies for safeguarding yourself from attracting narcissistic personalities into your life and how to spot the red flags and establish healthy boundaries.
This episode also sheds light on the trauma-bonded relationships that often trap them as well as the how to form narcissistic partners while preserving one's emotional well-being, emphasizing the importance of radical acceptance and psychological flexibility.
In this interview, you'll learn:
Join us in understanding the complexities of narcissism, how to foster resilience, establish boundaries, and reclaim yourself.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:09 Narcissism Versus Narcissistic Personality Disorder
05:41 Why Narcissistic People Make History
09:28 How to Not Attract a Narcissist
11:27 A Narcissistic Person is Like a Volcano
14:38 Love Bombing is Winning You Over with Attunement
15:24 From Love Bombing to What Went Wrong
18:11 Empaths Get Stuck in Trauma-Bonded Relationships
21:45 The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse
25:29 Can You Disengage from a Narcissistic Partner?
26:36 Repeat Perpetrators Harm the Forgiver
28:21 You Can Empathize and Not Forgive
30:42 What is Radical Acceptance?
32:39 Flexibility in Our Psyche
35:20 Grief is the Most Human Experience
38:06 How to Recreate Your Own Subjective Focus
44:13 How to Pull Yourself from any Form of Gaslighting
48:58 Can a Narcissist Ever Heal?
53:38 Is Change Possible?
Episode Resources:
- Dr. Ramani | Website
- Dr. Ramani | Instagram
- Dr. Ramani | YouTube
- Dr. Ramani | TikTok
- It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.