DeepSummary
In this podcast episode, Caroline McGuire discusses the social challenges that adults with ADHD often face, such as oversharing personal information or struggling to invest consistently in friendships. She explains that these issues stem from ADHD traits like impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and rejection sensitivity, which can make navigating social situations difficult.
McGuire provides strategies to help curb oversharing, such as being mindful of who the audience is, creating personal rules around what information to share with different types of relationships, and having a 'pivot plan' to gracefully change the subject if oversharing occurs. She also suggests ways to overcome the tendency to underinvest in friendships, like setting routines, anchors, and reminders to stay socially engaged.
Throughout the episode, McGuire emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and not holding oneself to unrealistic standards. She encourages listeners to challenge negative self-talk, focus on their strengths, and remember that building meaningful friendships takes time and effort for everyone, not just those with ADHD.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Adults with ADHD often struggle with oversharing personal information and underinvesting in maintaining friendships due to ADHD traits like impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and rejection sensitivity.
- Strategies to curb oversharing include being mindful of who you're sharing with, setting personal rules about what to share with different types of relationships, and having a 'pivot plan' to gracefully change subjects.
- Strategies to increase consistent investment in friendships include setting routines, reminders, and anchors to stay socially engaged, as well as resparkaling boring friendships with new activities.
- Challenging negative self-talk and past negative experiences around friendships is crucial, as is focusing on your strengths as a fun and creative friend.
- Self-compassion is key - don't hold yourself to unrealistic standards around being the 'perfect' friend. Understand that building meaningful connections takes time and effort for everyone.
- Consider what level of friendship investment feels comfortable for you, don't force anything that causes excessive anxiety or emotional overwhelm.
- Pay attention to signs that a friend wants to reciprocate the friendship - sharing personal details, making an effort for your interests, not just their own.
- Use techniques like deep breathing before social situations to increase presence and self-regulation during interactions.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “If you ask yourself those questions and you decide you really want to stay home and you want to opt out, that's totally fine. And I am totally aware of social anxiety. Some of this is very hard.“ by Caroline McGuire
- “I really think we deserve so much from friendship, and the past tends to color the way we feel about it. But we have a lot to offer, and we are so fun and creative.“ by Caroline McGuire
- “Mindset can also influence us because we have these stories, this inner narrative, this self talk in our mind, maybe because we had a hard time and we think things about ourselves.“ by Caroline McGuire
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Episode Information
ADHD Experts Podcast
ADDitude
4/2/24
Interrupting conversations. Appearing not to listen. Revealing too much personal information. Making friends as an adult with ADHD is hard for all these reasons and more. Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., explains how to overcome common social traps.
How to Make Friends as an Adult with ADHD: More Resources
- Download: The ADHD Friendship Guide for Adults
- Self-Test: 10 Questions That Reveal Toxic Behaviors
- Read: 3 Common ADHD Friendship Challenges
- Read: “How I’m Teaching My ADHD Brain to Listen”
Access the video and slides for podcast episode #496 here: https://www.additudemag.com/webinar/how-to-make-friends-adult-adhd/
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