DeepSummary
The host, Jemma Beggs, discusses how social comparison, the tendency to compare oneself to others, can steal joy and lead to feelings of inadequacy, especially in one's twenties. She explains that it stems from an evolutionary need to assess one's standing in a group but has become amplified by social media, which exposes people to curated highlights of others' lives.
Jemma offers five rules to control the urge to compare: 1) Don't suppress or avoid comparison, but expand and reframe judgments; 2) Keep judgments realistic by recognizing that social media presents an unrealistic portrayal; 3) Do things for yourself, not just to impress others; 4) Focus on nurturing your own pursuits instead of dwelling on what others have; 5) Use comparison as motivation by being inspired by others' achievements rather than feeling envious.
She emphasizes that comparison is natural but encourages listeners to counteract negative thoughts by listing their own accomplishments, remembering that the person they envy likely compares themselves to others as well, and recognizing that different paths don't negate one's worth. The goal is to embrace healthy comparison while avoiding unhealthy self-criticism.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Don't suppress or avoid social comparison - embrace and expand on it with nuanced judgments.
- Keep judgments realistic by recognizing that social media portrays an unrealistic highlight reel.
- Prioritize doing things for your own fulfillment, not just to impress others.
- Nurture your own pursuits instead of fixating on what others have.
- Use social comparison as motivation by being inspired by others' achievements.
- Counteract negative thoughts by listing your own accomplishments.
- Remember that the people you envy likely compare themselves to others as well.
- Different paths don't negate your own worth - you can have what others have in your own way.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “The grass is actually greener where you water it.“ by Jemma Beggs
- “Unhealthy social comparison can be a huge time waster because it makes us doubt our own decisions and our path and therefore kind of keeps us in this loop. It gets us stuck because we spend so much time thinking about what other people are thinking rather than actually just doing.“ by Jemma Beggs
- “If there is something you want to do, do it. And you'll soon find that as you adjust to this new mindset, your urge to compare will start to fade. Because the information that you're getting from others lives and whether they're better or worse than yours, whether they're judging you, their opinions, it doesn't really matter anymore.“ by Jemma Beggs
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Episode Information
The Psychology of your 20s
iHeartPodcasts
4/23/24
Social comparison is the thief of joy - it will make us question everything that we have, doubt our own abilities, steal our sense of gratitude and peace. It also sometimes feels impossible to escape, especially in our 20s when we look to others for confirmation that we are doing something right. In today's episode we break down the 5 rules you need to stop comparing yourself to others and embrace the benefits of healthy social comparison, this includes:
- Don't unfollow, don't suppress, recognise and expand
- Keep your judgements realistic
- Do things for YOU first
- Water your own grass
- Comparison as a motivator
Listen now to learn how you can control your urge to compare yourself to others!
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
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