DeepSummary
In this podcast episode, Adam Grant interviews psychologist Susan David about emotional agility and managing emotions effectively. They discuss the problems with suppressing or ruminating on difficult emotions, and the importance of accepting emotions without judgment. Susan shares her personal experiences with toxic positivity and the pressure to always appear happy, even in difficult times.
Adam and Susan explore strategies for navigating challenging emotions, such as recognizing that emotions are signposts to our values and needs, and cultivating curiosity and compassion towards our feelings. They emphasize the value of unpleasant emotions as teachable moments, and the distinction between experiencing an emotion and acting on it.
The conversation also touches on the idea of optimism versus non-pessimism, the role of guilt as a social emotion, and the importance of taking responsibility for our emotional responses rather than blaming others. Throughout the episode, Susan offers practical linguistic techniques for creating space between ourselves and our emotions.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Suppressing or ruminating on difficult emotions is an ineffective strategy for managing them.
- Cultivate curiosity, compassion, and acceptance towards your emotions, rather than judging them as good or bad.
- Unpleasant emotions can serve as valuable teachable moments, signaling our values and needs.
- Separate your emotions from your actions, taking responsibility for how you respond rather than blaming others.
- Create space between yourself and your emotions using linguistic techniques, such as noticing and observing your feelings.
- Optimism is not essential for well-being; avoiding pessimism may be more important than forced positivity.
- Guilt can be a valuable social emotion, signaling dissonance between our actions and values.
- Emotional agility involves navigating emotions effectively while staying true to one's values and identity.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “So when we tell people just to be positive, what we are actually saying to them is, my comfort is more important than your reality.“ by Susan David
- “Essentially, what it's saying is that I am simply a constant victim of how other people feel. But at the same time, the idea that people don't influence how we feel is to deny the reality that context and others do impact on us.“ by Susan David
- “What you do is you taking the metave. Yes, I am big enough and capacious enough to experience all of these different emotions and choose who I want to be.“ by Susan David
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Episode Information
WorkLife with Adam Grant
TED
1/23/24
You don’t always decide what you feel, but you do own how you react to those feelings. In her bestselling book and TED Talk, Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David examines the skills involved in emotional agility. She and Adam go deep on this topic, discussing the risks of judging and suppressing unwanted emotions — and effective techniques for managing them. They explore why optimism is not essential to well-being and how to overcome pressure to be positive. And they reveal how paying attention to what you feel can reveal what you value. Transcripts for ReThinking are available at go.ted.com/RWAGscripts