DeepSummary
Dan Harris introduces his guest Mia Birdsong and discusses the themes of her book 'How We Show Up', which explores building community, interdependence, and rethinking traditional concepts of success and the American dream. Mia shares her journey of realizing the isolation that often accompanies conventional markers of success, and her desire to understand what it means to be in true community.
Mia explains how her research revealed the individualistic nature of the American ideal of success, which clashes with the inherent interdependence of human beings. She found inspiring examples of community care and mutual support among marginalized groups. Mia discusses redefining freedom as being rooted in connected relationships rather than individualism.
Mia shares practical tips for building community, such as getting to know neighbors, being open about needing support, and involving a 'village' in raising children. She emphasizes the transformative power of asking for help during difficult times like her cancer treatment, which allowed her community to joyfully support her and find purpose in collective care.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- The conventional American dream of individualistic success and independence is antithetical to humans' inherent interdependence and need for community.
- True freedom is found not in rugged individualism, but in being part of a supportive, interconnected community.
- Building and maintaining meaningful community takes ongoing intentional practice in a society oriented toward isolation.
- Asking for help from one's community, rather than striving for self-sufficiency, can bring joy, purpose and transformative care.
- Marginalized groups have powerful examples to offer of mutually caring for each other outside dominant systems.
- Redefining paradigms around community and connection is vital for human thriving and potentially demands new economic and social systems.
- Simple practices like getting to know neighbors, pooling childcare, and being open about needs can foster community.
- Cultivating community doesn't mean everyone gives equally, but everyone contributes what they can in a spirit of mutuality.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “Part of it is that it sharpened the critique I already had of kind of american capitalism and our ideas of success. It clarified for me why community and connection and friendship and family outside of conventional definitions of those things, but really expansive ideas of those things. It clarified for me why those things are important and why our survival is dependent on having those relationships.“ by Mia Birdsong
- “I would go so far as to say it's a kind of self hatred to be independent.“ by Mia Birdsong
- “We live in a society where the conditions do not actually support our relationships with each other. The conditions make it very difficult for us to have time, energy, knowledge, and reinforcing experience of being in connected relationship with each other.“ by Mia Birdsong
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Episode Information
Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris
Ten Percent Happier
5/29/24
Radical advice on rethinking success, individualism, and the American dream.
Mia Birdsong is a pathfinder, culture change visionary, and futurist. She is the founding Executive Director of Next River, a think tank and culture change lab for interconnected freedom. In her book How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community, Mia maps swaths of community life and points us toward the promise of our collective vitality.
In this episode we talk about:
- How to build community
- What it looks like in her own life
- Mutuality vs reciprocity
- How to work with resentment and rejection
- The etymological connection between friendship and freedom
- The transformative power of asking for help
- And why she thinks the idea of bootstrapping—or going it alone—is a kind of self-hatred
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- Escape From Zombieland | Koshin Paley Ellison — Ten Percent Happier
- An Uncomfortable (But Meaningful) Conversation About Race | Lama Rod Owens
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