DeepSummary
In this episode, Dr. Laurie Santos explores her struggle with perfectionism and the negative impact it has on her well-being. She discusses the findings of researcher Thomas Curran, who uncovered a worrying increase in perfectionism, especially socially prescribed perfectionism, among young people. Santos also interviews recovering perfectionist Jordana Confino, who shares her journey of overcoming the harsh inner critic and embracing self-compassion.
Confino recounts her experience of being consumed by perfectionism during her academic and professional life, constantly pushing herself to achieve at the highest level while neglecting her own well-being and relationships. She ultimately realized that her perfectionism was causing more harm than good, and she began to challenge her inner critic and set healthier boundaries.
The episode offers practical strategies for addressing perfectionism, such as recognizing and rebutting the inner critic, visualizing it as a separate entity, practicing self-compassion, and setting boundaries by considering the trade-offs of saying yes to every opportunity. Santos acknowledges that she is still working on overcoming her own perfectionist tendencies but has made progress by implementing some of these strategies.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Perfectionism is a multi-dimensional trait that involves self-oriented, other-oriented, and socially prescribed components.
- Perfectionism rates, particularly socially prescribed perfectionism, have been increasing among young people.
- Perfectionism is often rooted in the fear of not being good enough and the belief that harsh self-criticism is necessary for success.
- Strategies for addressing perfectionism include recognizing and rebutting the inner critic, practicing self-compassion, and setting healthier boundaries.
- Overcoming perfectionism is an ongoing process that requires consistent effort but can lead to improved well-being and performance.
- Perfectionism can have negative impacts on physical and mental health, relationships, and work-life balance.
- Recovering from perfectionism involves challenging the belief that self-criticism is necessary for success and embracing self-compassion.
- Setting boundaries and considering the trade-offs of saying yes to every opportunity is essential for perfectionism recovery.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “One, I thought that they were fact, and two, I thought that they were helping me and that those thoughts were the things that were driving me to succeed. And that's why for so long I was so reluctant to give up on those thoughts.“ by Jordana Confino
- “The challenge, then, is to bring people around to the awareness that it is actually the perfectionism that is the root of the problem. It's something that's causing profound distress.“ by Thomas Curran
- “It turns out that you're much better at your work when you're not like beating the crap out of yourself.“ by Jordana Confino
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Episode Information
The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos
Pushkin Industries
6/3/24
Holding yourself to impossibly high standards is self-defeating and makes for a miserable life. Can Dr Laurie Santos find ways to tackle her constant perfectionism so she can perform better and have more fun?
She hears from researcher Thomas Curran about a worrying growth in perfectionism in society, and asks "recovering perfectionist" Jordana Confino how to tackle the nagging voice in your head telling you to always push yourself and work harder.
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