DeepSummary
The host, Chase Kosterlitz, welcomes Chris Ratcliffe, a trauma healer and anxious attachment style coach, to discuss anxious attachment patterns and how to heal them. Chris explains that anxious attachment often stems from childhood trauma and dysregulation of the nervous system, leading to fears of abandonment, codependency, and self-abandonment.
Chris outlines common patterns he sees in clients with anxious attachment, such as pursuing emotionally unavailable partners, self-abandonment, and fear-based coping mechanisms like avoidance. He emphasizes the importance of self-care practices, emotional diversification (having multiple sources of connection), and self-acceptance to break these patterns.
To work on self-worth and unworthiness, Chris suggests practicing self-compassion, inner child work, and trusting one's intuition. He also stresses the gentleness required for true healing and the need to accept past traumas and the resulting anxious patterns.
Key Episodes Takeaways
- Anxious attachment often stems from childhood trauma and dysregulation of the nervous system.
- Common patterns include pursuing emotionally unavailable partners, self-abandonment, and fear-based coping mechanisms.
- Self-care practices like meditation, exercise, and proper nutrition help regulate the nervous system.
- Diversifying sources of connection beyond just a romantic partner is crucial for anxious attachers.
- Self-acceptance, trusting one's intuition, and having compassion for oneself are key to healing.
- Gentle self-parenting through techniques like inner child work can help rebuild self-worth.
- Distinguish needs from unhealthy ways of trying to meet those needs.
- Communicating boundaries and rocking the boat provides valuable data about a partner's receptiveness.
Top Episodes Quotes
- “And when it comes to healing, you really need to get to the root. And when it comes to addressing patterns, that also means patterns of reaction within you to what you're perceiving in the environment.“ by Chris Ratcliffe
- “There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself. But that said, what you do out of survival in the short term will prevent you from connecting in the long haul.“ by Chris Ratcliffe
- “Needs are neither good nor bad. It's how we go about trying to meet those needs that is either healthy or unhealthy.“ by Chris Ratcliffe
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Episode Information
Relationship Advice
Hosted by: Chase Kosterlitz, Produced by: Sarah Kosterlitz
6/26/24